He raked a hand through his hair, for this was getting more complicated than he wished. Of course, he had simply assumed an admission now would satisfy Gory and she would not ask any questions other than how was she to get out of her betrothal in order to marry him?
However, it seemed his admission had only given her more pain that he now needed to assuage. “I cannot make excuses for my stupidity or the mistakes that followed as I tried to figure out what to do next. First, I lied to myself and decided I could get past losing you, that I could forget you and move on. But I quickly realized it was impossible. How does one forget a fairy princess? This past week, escorting you around, has been the worst week of my life.” He took a deep breath. “My second step was the decision to stop your wedding.”
Her eyes widened. “How? By murdering my uncle?”
She gasped as the accusation spilled from her lips, and so did he. “You really think me capable of that, Gory?”
“No, of course I don’t. It just came out because I am so angry with you at this moment.”
She sounded so miserable, he wanted to take her in his arms again. But he dared not do it yet, for she was deeply hurt, a soul-deep hurt, and obviously did not like him very much just now.
But did this not also prove she was in love with him?
Well, she hadn’t actually said she loved him.
But he knew it.
“You had all week to confess your feelings and ask me to stop the wedding.” She stared at him as she spoke and he heard the heartbreak in her every word.
“I know. But it was such a drastic step that I wanted to wait for Adela and Ambrose to return and talk to them about it.”
“Before you said anything to me?”
“Should I not have used a little caution? I was purposely going to break up your wedding.”
“And you just assumed I would accept your interference? Meanwhile, you were off carousing just as Allendale has been doing only days before our wedding.”
Julius gritted his teeth in frustration. “I was never carousing. All I have been doing is playing cards with friends, as I did last night…and yes, probably drinking a little too heavily because I was so miserable over the fear of losing you. If you must know, I haven’t touched another woman in months…a lot of months.”
“I don’t care.”
“Yes, you do.” He rose and went to her side to lift her into his arms.
“What are you doing, Julius?”
He settled her on his lap and sat down in the chair he had just made her vacate.
“Put me down!”
He held her firmly on his lap. “No. I want you to hear me out first.”
She put her hands to her ears. “What makes you think you can toy with my heart and just kick it in any direction? You do not have the right to drop this on me and think it is all going to be fine. I almost married a man I did not love! One who might be intending to kill me, no less.”
“But he won’t ever get his hands on you because I am going to marry you.”
“Oh, is that so? And then will you simply let me go to the gallows when Havers finds me guilty? Because you cannot protect me from going to prison. You are not a peer and Allendale is. So, I suppose I will be marked for death either way. It is now up to me to decide whether I prefer to die by public hanging or by poison, which is probably the cleanest way for Allendale to kill me. Or he might push me off a cliff while on our honeymoon. Rather messy, and I might not die right away.”
He hugged her. “I am going to marry you and protect you. I will never let anyone hurt you, Gory. I give you my sacred oath to always keep you safe from harm. I am truly sorry I botched this so badly.”
She fell asleep crying in his arms.
What an arse he was to drop all this on her when she was at her most vulnerable. He ached for the turmoil he was causing her.
But he could not deny his relief in having it all come out now.
He loved her.
She knew it.
