As ever, the breeze softly whipped through her curls while she remained standing beside him and feeling too right for him to dare believe possible. “I’ll stay with you, Your Grace. Would you mind terribly?”
He shrugged. “Do as you wish.”
“What I wish is to talk to you. But you just want me to leave you alone and go away. Are you thinking of the woman you once loved?”
The question startled him. “What business is it of yours?”
“None at all. I have never been in love. Goodness, I have never even been kissed. The closest I’ve ever come to any man’s lips on mine was tonight when our lips accidentally touched while bobbing for apples. Oh, I know that does not count as a kiss.”
That all-too-brief encounter still had his body in turmoil. His heart, too.
“What does it feel like?” she asked. “I mean, to really kiss someone. To be in love and kiss that person with all the strength of your being. Obviously, falling in love left you in tremendous pain. Is it not ironic that something capable of bringing you so much joy can also leave you with unbearable pain?”
“Cherish, I do not wish to talk about it.”
“You needn’t. I am doing all the talking. Ignore me if you would rather not comment while I sort it out for myself. My problem is not love but indifference. I think indifference is worse than anything else. This is what I am facing, the prospect of living my life as a shadow, ignored by the family who ought to love me and yet left me without resources to do something about it. I thought I could endure my lot and not care.”
“But you are discovering that you cannot?”
“It is awful. I’ve tried to harden myself because Fiona insists I am too soft and think too much with my feelings instead of my brain. But never feeling anything makes the entire point of living meaningless, don’t you think?”
“Cherish, if you are trying to get me to open up my heart and confide in you, forget it. I am not going to talk about myself.”
She nodded. “I was talking about me. You have made your decision to close yourself off to the world. That is your choice to make. I thought I had made the same choice, but I cannot do it. At least you are a duke and will have an impact on the lives of others no matter what you do. But I am no more than a leaf on an autumn breeze that will soon wither and die.”
“You are nowhere close to withering.” She was a summer rose, delightful to the scent and the eye. He just wanted her to go away before he gave in to desire and kissed her in the full and glorious way he ached to do.
“How does one know when love is real?”
He gave a groaning laugh. “Why don’t you ask me something simple, like explaining the theory of gravity? Or the origins of the moon and stars? Obviously, I am the wrong person to ask about love.”
“Because you were burned once and now hide from it forever?”
He placed his hands on her slight shoulders and made certain she was looking straight at him while he frowned at her. “What I do is none of your business,” he repeated, irritated by how easily she got under his skin. “I think you need to go back inside with the others now.”
“Why?”
“Cherish, you do not want to learn about love from me. I would only hurt you.”
“Thank you for the warning. I shall take it to heart. But answer me this about the woman who turned you into this closed-off person you’ve become. If she were to come back into your life, what would you do?”
“Run as fast as my legs would carry me in the opposite direction. Satisfied? Will you go now?”
“All right. But I hate to miss this lovely sunset. I’ll just stand apart from you and watch it. Am I not allowed to think of my future, too?”
“Must you do it right here?”
“Is there a better spot?”
He sighed. “Come here.” He tucked her hand in the crook of his arm as they stood together watching the last golden rays of sunlight disappear over the horizon.
What was he to do with Cherish? Besides ache to kiss her into forever?
Chapter Six
The next fewdays passed quietly and everyone was forced indoors due to a succession of rainy days. Gawain hid out in the library most of the time, leaving Fiona, with the assistance of Reggie and Cherish, to fill in the hours for her guests.
As it turned out, Cherish was indeed quite accomplished on the pianoforte and had a large repertoire of songs. Yesterday afternoon and again that evening after supper, she entertained everyone with her lively tunes while the others danced. Gawain had retreated to the library because he did not wish to be accosted by the peahens who would expect him to participate.
