“I am in love with you.”
There.
He’d admitted it.
Perhaps not with finesse, but she had to know his feelings were sincere.
To his dismay, his words had the opposite effect.
She burst into tears. “Why are you making it so difficult when I am trying to do the right thing?”
“The right thing? For whom? Certainly not for me. Nor for you.” Indeed, this was not at all the response he’d hoped for. “The offer of marriage remains open,” he said with a heavy sigh. “You just let me know whenever you are ready and I shall propose to you properly…or you may simply respond with ayesat any time, be it tomorrow, a month from now, or a year.”
“I will not hold you to those words.”
“Because you think I do not mean them?”
She cast him a guilty look.
“I have never meant anything more in my life.” He set her back on his horse and said nothing more until they reached the vicarage gate. “I’m coming in with you. Go up and see your father. I’ll wait for you to come back downstairs.”
“Why would you wait for me?”
“I want to know your father is all right. I would also like you to take inventory of your supplies. We’ll make a list and Wilson can send one of the footmen into town to gather whatever items you lack and deliver them to you. Don’t be frugal, everything is to be charged to my account.”
She inhaled lightly. “Yours?”
“Yes. I owe you that and more. Why did you not come to me to collect your wages? I pay my debts and we had a bargain that you more than met.”
Her cheeks turned a bright pink. “I’ll come by tomorrow or the day after to collect what I am owed. Is that all right?”
“Come by any time, Viola. You are always welcome in my home.”
“A little too welcome, I think.”
He laughed, but it did not contain much humor. She was fretting again, worrying about feelings that neither of them could deny and terrified of what accepting to become his viscountess would demand, especially if it took her away from her father.
There was also the matter of trust. He did not like to see her overset, but after the Lady Alicia incident, he knew he had a long way to go to regain it.
He hadn’t done anything wrong.
He’d said as much repeatedly, not only to her but to his parents. Even if she believed him this time, there still remained the smallest doubt. How long before he grew unhappy in the marriage and sought his ‘sunlight’ elsewhere?
He knew this fear was foremost on her mind.
Even his parents had their doubts. If his own parents could not trust him wholly and completely, then how was Viola ever to manage it? Of course, since she had not an ounce of venal greed in her, she would never accept to marry him until she felt confident enough in herself and in him to make their union work.
Any other girl would have leapt at the chance to be his wife, not caring a whit about love or faithfulness, just wanting the prestige and wealth attached to his name.
He helped her down when they got to her door.
She excused herself to run inside while Mrs. Bligh took the basket containing her spices and the bag containing her clothes from his hands. Viola scooted upstairs while her housekeeper lumbered to the kitchen.
He suddenly found himself standing alone in the hall.
Was this not a representation of what his life had been these past two years?
Alone.
