She leaped to her feet. “No! You cannot say this to me.”
Dear heaven!
Was he suggesting he loved her? Not merelylikeher, butlove? Or was this the start of a seduction? How could it be anything but seduction?
Her heart began to beat so fast, she could hardly catch her breath. “You failed with Lady Alicia so you are now seeking an easier mark. Well, it won’t be me!”
“Blast it, Viola.” He rose and grabbed her by the shoulders, turning her to face him. “I never touched her. Why are you still angry over Lady Alicia’s stunt? Because that is all it was, a stupid, reckless stunt. I had no part in it. I never invited her into my bedchamber. Nor would I ever do so. What can I say to convince you? Why do you refuse to believe me? When have I ever lied to you?”
Viola shook her head, struggling to hold back tears. “It isn’t really about that incident, but some of it is. The problem is, I don’t know what to think. This is what you do in theton. Scheme. Manipulate. I am nothing. A nobody to be used and then squashed. Even if I were a somebody like Lady Alicia…I don’t know. You put on a facade because thetonexpects you to comport yourself in a particular way, to maintain a certain style of life, and they destroy those who do not abide by their rules and step on those who are viewed as expendable. Your father understands this.”
He took both of her hands in his, his touch gentle and warm. “This is why I rarely go to London. I do not care for their rules. Nor am I ever careless of anyone’s feelings. What did I go to war for? Almost lose my life countless times and suffer through unbearable winters and hunger? To come home and kick the poor and weak when they are down?”
She felt ashamed, for he spoke the truth and she was being stubborn out of the simple terror of giving her heart to him. It was ridiculous because he’d always possessed it, whether he knew it or not. What she hadn’t expected was to gain his love in return. “I’m so sorry. You are right. It is cruel of me to suggest you would ever stoop so low. It is my fear talking.”
“I know, Viola. But you have to trust me.”
She nodded. “I’m trying. This is all new to me and I am completely out of my depth.”
“Even I feel a little out of my depth just now, despite all my years of experience. But thetoncannot destroy me because they have no hold over me. Nor am I a little boy who must obey his father.”
“You are his heir.”
“That cannot change short of a vote of the House of Lords and he will never put it to the test. Nor can he threaten to cut off my allowance. I have my own independent means.”
“If you have all this and are secure in wealth and title, then what do you want with me? Why would you have anything to do with a vicar’s daughter?”
“Because you are my sunlight,” he said with an ache to his voice that reverberated in the dark of night.
She held her breath, unable to respond.
Afraid to utter a word.
“Simple as that, Viola.” The ache was raw in his voice. “You are the one who put the joy back in my life. I should not have said anything to you now. Your head is too muddled with concerns about your father, and it is obvious you have not come around to trusting me yet.”
Viola knew it was mostly a lack of trust in herself. She knew so little about life beyond the shelter of this village and had never been romantically involved with any man. To lose her heart to this proud and worldly viscount, to believe he could love her back with equal fervor, was too much to take in all at once.
She was ridiculously naive and impressionable. She knew about food and that was all. How could she trust whatever attraction there was between them to be more than a fleeting interlude?
He was out of a dream.
Rich, titled, handsome. Kind. None of his workers had a cross word to say about him. Yet, he was no weakling to be trod upon.
What could he possibly want with her?
This is what worried her most.
She was no diamond, nor would he ever find a diamond beneath the surface if she were ever polished. “I think you ought to go back to your friends now. They will be wondering where you are, and to be caught with me after your earlier incident with Lady Alicia will raise eyebrows. Perhaps even cast doubt on your veracity.”
He frowned. “Only those who don’t know me would ever doubt. Besides, it is not the men who are ever ruined in these circumstances. The damage always falls upon the lady.”
“All the more reason to end this conversation and let me go. I cannot afford to be seen with you, my lord.”
“Alex.”
She stared at him blankly. “Good night, my lord.”
“Alex,” he said more insistently. “I will not have you subservient to me.”
