“Really good. He’s gonna be traveling in a few weeks to visit family for Christmas.”
“Maybe we could do something together,” I said without thinking as I eased onto the bed.
“I’m sure you’ve got enough on your plate with moving in with Damien and stuff. I don’t want to intrude.”
“You’re not intruding. We haven’t been able to hang out much lately. I’d love to see you.”
She hesitated, but said, “If you’re sure.”
“I’ll talk to Damien and see what he’s got planned. I’m sure it won’t be an issue.”
“Thanks, Cas,” she said, and the relief tone in her voice twisted my heart. Had she really intended to spend Christmas alone?
“You’re always welcome here,” I said, and my chest swelled as an idea sparked to life. “We should hang out soon, maybe go Christmas shopping. I need to find a gift for Damien.”
“I love that idea!” she exclaimed. “I’ll be finished with midterms next week, and then I can breathe.”
“Let’s plan something as soon as you’re finished with them, then.”
“Deal,” she said, a yawn coming through the line. “Well, I’ve gotta go. Got class in the morning. First midterm is tomorrow, and I’m dreading it.”
My smile fell, and my shoulders sagged. Our conversations had felt short as of late. We used to talk until long after midnight, but now, we barely made it an hour before and she would dip out. I should be happy she was even talking to me at all. There had been a time after Marcus had taken me that she’d grown so distant, I feared I might have lost her.
“Okay, good luck,” I managed to say.
“Thanks. I’m gonna need it.”
“You’ll do great.”
“We’ll see,” she sighed. “Love you.”
“Love you.”
The line went dead, and I lowered my phone to look at the screen. Only half past eleven. I let out a sigh and tossed the phone to the side, setting my tea on the nightstand before rising from the bed to head to the bathroom.
Damien and Ethel had cleared out half the vanity drawers to make room for my things. I didn’t have much—just some hair products, makeup, and my medicine, which was tucked away in the back.
I reached into the back of the drawer, fishing out the orange bottles. Shortly after moving in with Damien, I’d managed to contact my doctor to refill my prescription. He’d decided to switch it up, trying out a different medication. They didn’t see any need to bring me in for a checkup, as my annual was scheduled for next month. I dreaded all the tests.
More so, I dreaded telling Damien the truth.
I downed the pills and stashed the bottles back in their hiding place before trudging out of the bathroom.
How would he react? Would he be furious with me? Would he stop my training as he had when I’d killed Marcus? Would he try to cage me as my parents had tried for so many years under the guise of protecting me from something they couldn’t fight?
Just fucking tell him.
It needed to happen. It had gone on for far too long. Damien had been going out on patrols nearly every night, and I wasn’t sure when his next night off would be. Would it throw him off if he went out to hunt darklings with that knowledge? Would he get hurt?
I drew a deep breath, frustration building in my chest. This was so stupid, so unfair, to him and to me. We deserved so much more after everything we’d been through—the moments I remembered, and the ones still out of my reach.
My eyes drifted to the glass display case, the lights illuminating the swords and daggers on display. Moira’s sword shined on the top shelf where it had always sat. I was eager for more memories to resurface, to know more of what my lives had been like. They were the stories I longed to lose myself in, more than those in my books. For while I knew there were darker, more terrible times, there was also happiness.
Turning, I headed for our bed, reaching for the book sitting on my nightstand, eager to drown out my racing thoughts. It was a new story I’d stumbled upon when I’d gone exploring the local bookstore, and I’d been thoroughly enjoying it. It was a story about a princess of wyverns who fell in love with a human, and that love became the death of her mother, the Queen, and the downfall of her kingdom. Perhaps it would be enough to distract me until Damien got home.
I climbed into bed and propped myself up on my stomach before opening the book.
For just a little while, I lost myself in the pages.
