Those wild eyes watched as I seized. “Haven’t you noticed how good you’ve been doing? How you’ve been able to train without issue? Why do you think you’ve had no attacks?”
I grimaced, but I couldn’t lift my eyes to her. My chest threatened to cave in, my lungs refusing to fill with air, and I couldn’t hold back the scream clawing its way out of my throat. Agony rolled through me, coiling every muscle until tears welled in my eyes.
“I know your little secret. I have kept it at bay to allow you to train uninterrupted, so you might harness that power to use when the time comes.”
She pulled her hand back, and the pain rushed from me. I collapsed. My lungs filled, but it wasn’t enough, and I gasped, desperate for any air I might find.
“I would think you would be more appreciative of my generosity. Especially when you pushed yourself past your limit and suffered a recoil. I was impressed when you forced the doctor to keep your secret.”
Generosity. The Elythians were anything but generous, and they never made deals or offered favors unless it benefited them.
“I would rein in those thoughts, little goddess. I’m the only thing keeping you from meeting that end you so dread.”
My blood ran cold. She’d stopped the pain, prevented the heart attacks, but had she stopped the damage? What would happen if she stopped keeping the heart attacks at bay? I’d fought the hope that maybe something had righted itself. I couldn’t deny there was a part of me that had wished something good might’ve happened to me. I was foolish to think it.
“Don’t worry, little goddess. Your secret is safe with me.”
“Why help me? What do you get out of it?” I bit out.
“Entertainment.” She inspected her nails coolly. “It gets boring in the Godsrealm.”
Bullshit.
“Watch your thoughts, little goddess. I could kill you now, shatter your mind, and leave you a shell. Or maybe I’ll burst that little heart of yours.” Her eyes met mine, her gaze ice cold. “Oh, how horrible would it be for the Lord of Shadows to find his mate gone at his side when he wakes?”
The blood drained from my face, my heart stuttering.
She smiled at my silence. “Smart girl.” She turned from me. “You focus on building your strength and mastering that magic of yours. You may yet live to see this war through.”
And she faded into nothing.
25
CASSIE
Ishot awake, gasping for air, and Damien startled from sleep.
He reached out steadying hands to brace me. “It’s a dream,mea luna. It’s not real.” He pulled me close, allowing me to fall into him as my body trembled. “It’s ok. You’re safe. I’m here.”
I was safe in our room.
Too many times. Too many times had I awoken Damien like this. He was so used to it now, he immediately knew how to bring me back to reality. It’d been a while since it happened. The dreams of those chains binding my wrists in that cell still lingered in the dark corners of my mind, and there were so many times in the days after I killed Marcus that I’d awoken in terror, throwing my guts up and unable to fall back asleep.
I never wanted to relive those weeks again.
“It was just a dream,” Damien whispered, running his fingers through my hair.
I drew a deep, uneven breath before the trembles ebbed, and I looked out the window. The sun hadn’t yet risen, but dim morning light had started to paint the sky in faint shades of blue and pink.
“Does it ever get easier?” I whispered, even though I knew it wasn’t a dream I’d woken from, that it wasn’t the nightmares he’d thought I’d seen. “Do the nightmares ever stop?”
He inhaled. “No... It doesn’t. I still have them myself, but I’d be worried if it did get easier. I like to think that the difficulty proves there’s still a sliver of good keeping me from that final descent. Taking a life is never easy, no matter how much they deserved it.”
I didn’t speak then, my mind racing with everything I’d learned.
“You want to go back to slee—”
“No.” The word flew from my mouth without thinking. I turned, sliding my feet off the edge of the bed as I braced myself, my skin crawling at the memory of Eris.
