“I’ll be ok. I’m feeling better now. It isn’t as fresh anymore.” Her eyes didn’t meet mine, and I knew she was hiding the brunt of it from me. It hurt to see her hide the pain away. She was far too considerate of others, and I couldn’t help but feel that she’d likely been that way her entire life, sheltering her grief alone.
“Have the sessions been helping? I know you only just started a few weeks ago, but I want to make sure it isn’t too much.”
Her smile warmed me. She and Salwa had developed a relationship that went beyond therapeutic. “Salwa’s been so wonderful and kind. I’m glad to have her help. She’s good at what she does. She has a special gift; I can’t explain it, but it makes it easy to talk to her.”
Though she brushed it off, I knew she still suffered from Marcus’ torture, the mental manipulations he had put her through. She hadn’t been able to bring herself to talk to me fully about it, but I never pressed. I wanted her to come to me when she was ready. “I’m glad to hear that.”
Salwa was a therapist for The Order and civilians alike. As a member of House Nous, she used her telepathic abilities to benefit those in her care on a deep level. What set her apart from a normal therapist, though, was that she didn’t simply speak with her patients. She entered their minds to help smooth out the ripples of trauma, help heal from the inside out.
It had only been part of the reason I’d introduced her to Salwa, though. After Cassie had lost control and set our bed on fire, I knew we would have to be proactive in how she learns to use her abilities—some of which were wiped out during The Fall of Kingdoms. She risked losing control if another resurfaced before she was ready.
Born of the old blood, centuries ago, not only was she talented in her abilities as a telepathic healer, but she was also a well-versed historian of our race, one of the few who had lived nearly as long as I had. I’d hoped she might be able to help Cassie, not only to heal the scars she harbored, but to ultimately assist when she was ready to learn to use the blood traits wiped out in the war with the darklings.
“Is Zephyr ok? That cut on his arm looked bad. Did he have to get stitches?” Cassie’s voice cut across my train of thought.
“Don’t worry, Cas. It wasn’t as bad as it looked. It’ll heal in no time. It’ll probably be gone in the morning.”
The guilt was apparent in her eyes, and I stood to walk over to her. Her hands grazed her forearms in a back-and-forth motion, a nervous tick she’d developed. I hadn’t noticed it when we first met, and I didn’t know if she’d always done it, or if it developed after Marcus had captured her. I placed my hands over hers, easing her anxiety as best I could.
She stopped the moment she realized what she was doing and rested her forehead against my chest. “I’m so sorry. I was so lost in the vision of Elena... It’s like I lose all sense of reality.”
The painful memories tore through me, but I forced it back, leveling my emotions. I wouldn’t let her feel the pain I felt. The wound of Elena’s death had never fully healed. To have died alone, at the claws of countless darklings, to know how it ended for her, and to have been unable to be there with her... I still remembered the horrible feeling through our bond when she fell, her presence vanishing without a trace. It’s a kind of pain I’d never truly recovered from. I could still feel the weight of her body in my arms in those moments after I’d found her.
I wrapped my arms around her, her body so small against mine. “I wish I could spare you the pain of reliving those events.”
Though she housed such power, power that could destroy my brothers and me, power that had wiped out armies of darklings, she felt so small, so... fragile. I knew she wasn’t, though. She was stronger than anyone I’d met, but that strength had been wavering lately.
Whatever Marcus had done to her left more scars than I could fathom. Something inside her had fractured, and I was lost at how I might help her heal it.
Salwa had found no trace of what happened to her at the metal shop where we fought Marcus. Cassie hadn’t been in control of herself when she’d ended him, that much was certain.Somethinghad compelled her to act, though, and it was unnerving to not know what that something was.
The sight of her consuming the flames in the metal shop, when she’d burned Marcus in a fire so hot, he’d been reduced to ashes almost instantly, had been terrifying to behold. Such unbridled power had ignited within her, and I feared I may have lost her to whatever darkness clouded her mind, lost her to the fires filling her body.
What concerned me most was that she hadn’t been in control of herself, but more of a spectator through her own eyes. Her past lives had compelled her to act before, but she’d expressed the difference of this situation, and Salwa confirmed what she’d said to be true.
That Salwa found nothing out of the ordinary led me to believe Cassie was influenced by an outside source, but who? Marcus? It wouldn’t have made sense for him to off himself like that. I knew he wanted to get under our skin, but the look on his face made it clearthatwasn’t in his plans.
“I just wish I could’ve saved the girl, at least.”
I swallowed. “You’ve always been a powerful warrior, Cas, always quick to sacrifice yourself for others. I never knew what happened, but I’m not surprised you did what you did.” Her eyes lifted to mine. She needed to know what had happened that night—why she’d died.
“We got separated in the chaos of the darkling attack that night. It happened before Barrett and Vincent’s time, but Zephyr was there. Moonhaven was one of the largest villages we’d built since the darklings first appeared, after our home had been destroyed, our people scattered. It was the first time we had a home for both warriors and civilians.” It had become a true home to us, one I missed dearly. “That night, the darklings attacked without warning. We were unprepared and overwhelmed by how many came.”
I gazed into those hazel eyes, the agony of the memory sinking into me. “I never should’ve left your side.”
Her eyes fell as she listened, and I couldn’t help but run my thumb against her cheek, her skin warm and soft against mine. The faint hum of our bond tingled just beneath the surface, weak, but a presence I couldn’t help but cling to. “When they attacked the main gates, Zephyr and I left you to guard the civilians, in case any stray darklings broke through our defenses. I thought you would be safer there.”
“The attack on the main gates was a distraction, though, and the darklings found a way through the back walls to attack the civilians in hiding. Before I could pull back to go to you, I was notified a fire had broken out in the village. As the guard was speaking to me... I felt your presence vanish through our bond. I immediately went to search for you, terrified the worst had happened. I tried calling through my thoughts, praying you would reach into my mind like you always did to tell me you were safe…” Breathing became difficult as the memories resurfaced, unbridled and painful.
“I never heard a response, and we found you not long after.” I momentarily lost myself in the feel of her skin beneath my fingers, reassuring myself she was here with me, that she’d returned to me once more. “The devastation we found, the destruction they’d left in their wake—I couldn’t believe it. They hadn’t left a soul alive in that part of Moonhaven, and by the time we got to you, the remaining darklings had fled. They didn’t even attempt to attack the rest of the fort.”
“I can still hear the horrible clicking sound.” Her voice was soft, though her eyes didn’t rise to meet mine as she watched it play out in her mind. Sometimes, I hated her ability to see my experiences, feel my pain through touch—hated that she relived it through my eyes.
Silence hung in the air, and my fingers ran through her soft chestnut curls, combing them out and letting them fall over her back. If we could just destroy the darkling leader, Melantha, and rid the world of the darklings once and for all, we could enjoy the peace we so desperately deserved. I could give her the life she was meant to have, have her at my side as queen once again. If we were lucky enough, we could possibly even try to raise a family together. Nothing would make me happier than to see her carry our children, mother them the way I knew she could.
It was a distant dream, one I clung to.
Her gaze drifted from me to the window, and her hazel eyes lit up. “Damien, it’s snowing.”
