I followed behind her, and as I did, the warm glow of a glass display case caught my eye. It was ornate, the glass framed in glittering gold. Within it sat three old, leather-bound books, each unique in their own way, with gold embellishments and engravings.
“So, are you looking for anything in particular?” she asked, and my attention was drawn back to Salwa as she set the stack of books on the table with a loud thud.
“I think Damien just wanted to show me the library while we were here. There’s still so much about your world I don’t know. I’d love to read up on anything I can.”
A soft chuckle slipped from Salwa’s lips. “I don’t think you’d be able to read every text in this room in the lifespan of a mortal.” Her smile faded, realizing the weight of her words to me. “I’m so sorry, Cas.”
I forced a weak smile, knowing she hadn’t meant anything by it. “It’s ok, Salwa, really.”
Her eyes drifted away from me as she bit her lip, and I hated the guilt she felt.
It was true, though; my time was limited, and there was so much I needed to do. The darklings had to be destroyed, and I needed to get my parents and Kat to safety. Damien had a means of getting them out of the city, but they wouldn’t leave. It was all I could do to reassure them over the last few months that I was doing well on my own. They’d finally settled around Christmas when we’d had them over and hadn’t brought up the subject again. No, there was no way they’d leave me behind.
Not unless I wasn’t something that would hold them back...
“Salwa.”
Her sable brows rose as she looked back at me, momentarily pausing over the text she’d opened.
“Damien told me your kind could erase yourself from the mortal memories.”
“Yes...” she said tentatively, brows scrunching in confusion.
“As a Nous user... if I wanted to remove myself from a mortal’s memories, how would I do that?”
She paused for a moment, as if contemplating what exactly I planned to do with that knowledge. “It’s a complicated process. The fewer memories exist of us, the easier it is. It would be a simple task to remove the memory of our presence from a few hours of interaction. Simple enough that any immortal, even if they don’t have the Nous affinity, could do it. If the memories span months, years, it requires more care, only a Nous user could remove those memories. Only a skilled Nous user could remove memories that span years, and they would have to take great care in doing so.” Her pale eyes narrowed. “Why do you ask?”
“I...” I inhaled deeply, gathering the courage to do what was necessary. “I need my parents to get out of town before things get terrible.”
She remained silent, her eyes slipping from mine.
I swallowed, chest swelling as I fought the emotions rising in me. “I don’t have much time left, Salwa. I just want to know they’re safe.”
“Are you sure?” she asked, looking back at me.
I didn’t meet her gaze, grasping for any courage I might find. “Please teach me, Salwa.”
“You already have the skill, Cas. You’re a very talented Nous user. You have to be careful doing it, you could erase a vital memory if you’re not careful or mix things up and leave the person incapacitated permanently, but… you simply have to enter their minds, find all that is you and erase it.”
The thought of hurting my parents if I made a mistake left my stomach rolling. “All that is me?”
She nodded. “You’re a demigoddess. It would be far easier for you to do it than any of us.” Her chest heaved as she prepped to tell me everything. “When you enter their mind, you must find every familiar piece, search for yourself in them. Think of it as if you’re looking through a picture book, but each picture is a memory. It may be difficult; you have twenty-one years of memories to remove.”
“I just want them safe, and if it means they don’t know I exist—” I swallowed and lifted my eyes back to her, forcing a smile. “I’m ok with that.”
Salwa smiled softly at me, but it didn’t reach her eyes. “Do what you think is right, Cas.”
She laid a tender hand on my shoulder, her pale eyes slipping closed as she tilted her head closer to mine. Soft, familiar words of a language I didn’t understand slipped from her lips.
It was a prayer. She was praying for me.
I smiled softly, closing my eyes, as I leaned into her, pressing my forehead to hers, absorbing the loving words she spoke. I didn’t belong in the world of the mortals anymore, and if it meant my parents and Kat would be safe—
I’d erase every trace of my existence.
21
DAMIEN
