I giggled, shoulders shrugging. “How long have you been awake?”
“Not long. I didn’t want to leave you, but I didn’t want to wake you,” he said under his breath. “You needed the rest.”
He kissed my temple and pushed himself up. I groaned as I rolled off my side and up onto my knees. My hair spilled over my shoulders in a mess of loose curls into my face, and my gaze lifted to the window above our bed. It was overcast outside, the sunlight muted behind dense winter clouds.
“Here,” he said, approaching my side of the bed, handing me a glass of water and a Tylenol.
“Thank you,” I said, and I swallowed them down.
“I’ll head downstairs, bring our gear toMitera,and let her know to start making breakfast,” he said as he tossed a shirt over his head. He kissed my forehead before grabbing the basket of our Elythian leathers and heading out our bedroom door.
The bed groaned under me as I shifted to the edge. I stood, wincing at the tenderness, feet swollen from all the running and walking we'd done the night before. I slowly made my way to the bathroom.
I quickly used the bathroom and washed up, splashing my face with cold water, and pressing my hands into my puffy eyes—the icy chill of the water soothing. If I was to keep up with late nights spent hunting darklings with The Order, I needed to change my sleep schedule. I pulled one of the drawers out and fished through the mess of things to find my prescription bottles hidden in the back. My doctor had tried switching my medication at my appointment last month. He explained he wanted to try a different approach, and I was now on two different medications. I wished nothing more than to just burn them.
Damien never went into this drawer, as it only held my things, but I’d been careful to make sure he couldn’t easily find them. I lifted one of the bottles, inspecting the dwindling supply of tablets. My mother had been getting my refills for me, giving them to me when I went to visit from time to time.
God, I hated this.
I needed to get the courage to tell him, but how would I do that? I’d never told him when we met, never imagined our meeting would lead to all this, and before I knew it, I’d become so entwined in his life that... I couldn’t bring myself to. How would I bring it up now? What would he think when he learned I’d kept it from him? I’d managed to mask any hints of my condition from the memories, too afraid to share it all with him, but now… I regretted it.
Nausea pooled in my stomach, and I stopped myself from lingering on the thought further. I took my morning doses before stashing the bottles, then headed for the closet to put some pants on. I paused when I heard the muffled sounds of Damien talking with Ethel below. My stomach growled; Ethel’s home-cooked meals sounded like heaven.
As I made my way to the door to head downstairs, my phone rang on my nightstand. I headed over, thinking it might be Kat. My heart sank at the sight of my doctor’s name flashing on the screen. My hand hovered over it for a moment, but I grabbed it and answered.
“Hello?”
“Hi, is this Cassie Hites?” a nurse asked.
“Yeah. this is her.”
“Hi Cassie. I just wanted to confirm your quarterly exam for next Monday, the twenty-seventh at 11:00 a.m.”
My words got lost in my throat. I’d forgotten about my quarterly exam; I’d been so absorbed in my training that I hadn’t realized the day was fast approaching. I always dreaded my yearly examinations. They always took so long to complete. From the tedious questions the doctor would ask, to the blood work, to the MRI scans that always left me feeling claustrophobic.
“I’ll be there,” was all I could say. The nurse thanked me and wished me a good day before hanging up. I braced myself against the nightstand, guilt curdling my stomach at the thought that I’d have to sneak to another appointment without Damien knowing.
“G’mornin’ tae ye, Cas,” Ethel said as I entered the kitchen. She walked over to lay a kiss on my cheek, her radiant energy helping lift my mood a little. “Ah heard yer first hunt went well.”
I gestured to the healing cut on my face. “Would’ve preferred to avoid this.”
“Oh dear. Ah’ve got some salve ‘at’ll heal ‘at right up. Ah’ll get it fer ye after ye’ve eatin’. Donnae want that tae leave a scar, noo do we?” She returned to the stove, the smell of corned beef and hash reaching my nose. “Ah’ll ‘ave yer breakfast ready in a moment, dear. ‘Ave a seat.”
I smiled and joined Damien at the table. He slid over a cup of tea he’d made for me as I eased into a chair. I lifted it to take a sip of the heavenly liquid. “You don’t know how special it is that you do this for me every morning,mea sol.”
He smiled and leaned in to brush a kiss to my forehead. I noticed Ethel smile briefly over her shoulder at us.
“That I can do it for you again means more to me than you’ll ever know.”
Damien turned, striking up a conversation with Ethel. I sat in silence, watching as they spoke, their words dancing through the air but not registering in my ears. My thoughts lingered elsewhere, dwelling on darklings and a war my parents and friends would get caught in the middle of, of the phone call I’d received just moments ago, on tests and doctors’ visits.
I’d finally shared the burdens of everything that had happened with Marcus, shared everything that happened to me in that cell... but the relief I’d felt after was short-lived. I still felt alone. So alone, despite sitting here with Ethel and Damien. It was as if I were watching them as some intangible being, merely a spectator of their happiness.
For once, I wanted him to know the truth, to know it all. It conflicted with every thought and fear that led me to keep this secret from everyone, but I didn’t want to feel alone anymore. I wanted him there at my side to support me. Through everything...
I wanted him to be by my side when I heard how much damage my heart had suffered over the last few months, wanted him there when I might break down and cry.
“Mea luna?”
