He reached for the plastic cup, and it all felt too familiar, my mind flying to when Kat had been where I now lay.
This wasn’t how I wanted this to happen...
He rose from his seat, his hand slipping behind my head to help me drink. The cool water hit my throat, hard and soothing at the same time. I coughed but lifted my hand when he started to pull away, desperate for more. I sank against his arm once I’d drank enough, unable to hold my own weight any longer.
Damien set the empty cup down on the rolling table before easing back down into his chair. God, I wanted to say something, wantedhimto say something.
I opened my mouth to speak, to tell him what I’d been trying to for months, but he spoke first.
“Why didn’t you tell me?”
50
CASSIE
I’d thought about how this conversation could go countless times, had planned every possible response, every scenario, but the moment those words left his lips, every thought I had prepared vanished.
Guilt sank in.
“I...” I swallowed, something pressing into the back of my throat.
“Why couldn’t you tell me about this?” he asked, his eyes burning into me, his pain, his hurt seeping into every part of my body. I tried to shut it down, tried to not pick up on his emotions, but they burned through every defense I could muster.
Words hung on my tongue, just out of reach as I tried to speak. “I... I wanted to.”
“Then why didn’t you, Cas?”
“I couldn’t—”
“You couldn’t?” he repeated, as if he couldn’t understand what I meant.
“I wanted to, but...”
“But youcouldn’t,” he reiterated, unable to look at me, and I flinched at the hurt in his voice. “Cas—”
“No one knows,” I said before he could continue, and his eyes snapped back to me, the room falling quiet. He blinked, his lips parting but closing as he tried to process.
“Only my parents and Kat know. Or at least... they knew. I guess Kat’s the only one who knows now. I’d kept it from her too, but I found out recently she knew all along.”
His gaze slipped, whatever words he might have said halting on his tongue. The fact that he wasn’t the only one who didn’t know and the mention of my parents seemed to make him consider his words more carefully.
“I...” I tried to think of where to even begin. There was so much, too much. “I didn’t mean to hide it from you. I never expected things to get this far, never imagined when we met that we’d become what we are. Things happened so fast, and I’ve tried to tell you so many times, but every time, something would come up.”
He opened his mouth to respond but halted, realization dancing across his face. “You were trying to tell me before the darklings attacked...”
I nodded, fidgeting with the blanket.
“You should’ve told me earlier, Cas. If I’d known, I wouldn’t have pushed your training so hard. I would have fought Selene on the urgency. I wouldn’t have sent you out there on patrol if I’d—”
“That’s exactly why I never told anyone; why I was afraid to tell you.”
He drew back, frowning.
“I’ve lived my entire life dealing with doctors, nurses, and family members treating me like I’m fragile, breakable. I’m not glass, Damien. I don’t have much time left, but I’ll be damned if I live it sheltered. I’ve regretted every decision I’ve made in minding my parents’ caution, letting them keep me home, keep me from school, from... everything.”
He blinked, guilt flashing across his face, and he swallowed.
“When we met, you treated me like a normal person. You saw me, not my illness—you treated me the way I’d always wanted to be treated. Even though I was mortal and weaker than you, you didn’t let it cloud your faith in me. You didn’t try to protect me from everything, but instead encouraged me to become stronger. You encouraged me to push myself forward, to overcome my weaknesses and faults, to do things I’d never dreamed of doing. You showed me happiness and love.”
