I nodded, fidgeting with the hem of my sleeve. “Yeah. At first, things were fine. I had control, managed to create a flame on my fingertip... but then I heard it.”
She cocked an eyebrow. “Heard what?”
“The… voice. I felt those urges that leave me terrified with myself. I haven’t felt it as strongly as when I lost control fighting Marcus, but the moment I conjured the flames, it was like I was being pushed forward, needing to see how far I could go, even though I didn’t want to.”
“I remember you mentioning this voice.”
She’d tried to search for any clues when we first began our sessions, but no matter what we tried, she never found anything. She set her notebook down on the end table, the couch bowing beneath her as she drew closer to me. Her hands rose, gesturing towards my head. “Do you mind if I look? See if I can find any traces of what it might be, or what may have caused it?”
A cold sweat broke out over my skin at the thought of her entering my mind. The painful ways Marcus had forced his way into my mind still haunted me, and I had to remind myself I was safe.
Salwa was safe. Salwa was my friend, my healer.
It had taken a long time for me to feel safe enough to allow her to enter my mind. The traumatic mental manipulation I’d suffered at his hands and the scars it left behind left me terrified of letting anyone into my thoughts.
I took a deep breath and tilted my head forward, closing my eyes.
Her fingers slid over my hair, warmth emanating from her fingertips as they passed over me, like a summer breeze brushing my skin. This was one of the things that made her so effective, so talented at what she did. Her touch was so gentle it put my entire body at ease. My shoulders relaxed, and a sigh of relief eased from my lungs.
Her fingers suddenly twitched, and I flinched, an electric spark shooting through me. Her hands recoiled as she gasped, her eyes wide and confused, brows knitted together as her chest heaved.
“Salwa? Are you ok?” She didn’t answer, and I reached out, grabbing her shoulders, speaking louder. “Salwa?”
The door flung open as Damien entered. “Is everything ok?”
Salwa blinked, realizing where she was. “Sorry. I...”
I didn’t understand what happened, but I’d felt it, as if my mind had shut her out, slamming a wall between us, but I had done nothing. She seemed to understand what happened, though, and it had her looking worried.
She looked up at Damien, still tense. “I’m ok. I was...” She drew a deep breath, trying to compose herself. “I was forced from her mind.”
I sat back, eyes dancing between Damien and her. “But I didn’t do anything.”
“No, it wasn’t you.” She directed her attention to Damien again. “There’s something else. I was unable to see anything, but I felt it. Whatever it was, it’s powerful. Powerful enough to shutmeout.”
“Could it be any of my past lives? Maybe pushing me to be stronger?” I asked.
Salwa pondered the possibility. I’d never seen her as shaken as she did now. She’d always been so calm, collected, in control, not to mention an exceptionally powerful Nous user. Whatever this was, it was something none of us could control.
“It’s difficult to tell,” she said at last. “It was as if a shield went up when I entered your mind. It doesn’t want me to know what it is.”
I looked at Damien, his eyes darkening as he pressed his knuckles to his lips. “Something powerful enough to shield against you is a cause for concern. I wonder if itisone of her past selves. Lucia was particularly skilled in Nous magic, or it could’ve been Moira?”
I hadn’t made any connections with Moira. It was as if she were locked away. The only memories that resurfaced were from Elena and Lucia. There was so little I knew of Moira. Would she push me to become more powerful for Damien’s sake, no matter the cost?
5
DAMIEN
Ileaned against the doorway of our closet. “Maybe you should stay behind tonight. We can plan for your first patrol tomorrow instead.”
Cassie was preoccupied with inspecting her new gear, but she shifted her eyes to me. “Do you know how much it kills me to sit here each night, waiting, wondering if you’ll return alive? No. You don’t. I want to be there at your side for once. I’ve been preparing for weeks; I’m not putting it off another night.”
I remained silent.
She lifted her shirt over her head, back turned to me. The sight of the thin pink scars Marcus had left on her arms and back had left guilt settling in the pit of my stomach. “This is what I’ve trained for,mea sol. I want to be at your side. I want to fight.”
I would love nothing more than to have her hunt darklings at my side again. She’d always loved to fight, always felt truly alive on the battlefield. She was born for it, a fighter’s spirit woven into the fabric of her being.
