We’re slightly out of breath, our faces just inches apart. The books forgotten, the only thing I can focus on now is the distance between Winston’s lips and mine. He brings both hands to either side of my head and presses them against the wall, caging me in. “Um,” is what I manage to squeak out, but I have no idea what I was about to say, or even what I want to say.
“Natalie,” he says, a low rasp. His expression is serious but tender. “I wanted to…”
“I’m sorry about earlier,” I blurt, cutting him off. I haven’t been able to stop thinking about how I pulled away and didn’t explain why. Being at the bar was a nice distraction, but Winston needs to understand that it had nothing to do with him. “When I pulled away…at the lake.” I clear my throat. “It was because you touched my stomach. It caught me off guard, and it, I don’t know, put me in a weird headspace.”
I become entranced by the sight of his tongue darting out as he licks his lips. His gaze is intense as he says, “Please explain.”
“I-I’ve struggled to accept that part of my body, so when you tou––”
“I touched your stomach because I love it,” he says, cutting me off. “Your stomach, your eyes, your ass, those lips––every single part of you is fucking perfect, Natalie. I haven’t been able to think about anything else since the day you moved in. All I want to do is touch you.”
“I…” I don’t know what to say to that. I thought I bugged the shit out of him.
He takes a step back to look me up and down. “I don’t know who made you feel like there’s something wrong with your body, but I find you quite dazzling.”
The anxious part of my brain wants to dismiss it as a line to get me to sleep with him, or just a lovely sounding lie to make me feel better. But I can’t deny the hunger in his eyes. Winston makes me feel desired, and that’s an entirely new feeling.
Even when Kyle and I were at our happiest, it felt like he was overlooking parts of me he didn’t like to maintain the status quo in our relationship. The lights were always turned off during sex, doggy-style and reverse cowgirl were his favorite positions, and when I shopped for bathing suits, he’d always push me toward the one-pieces. I’d never connected those dots before, and maybe I’m overthinking it, but Winston wanting to touch my stomach because he actually likes that part of me paints these memories in a new light.
“So, I was okay?” Winston asks, shaking me from my memories of Kyle. His expression is shy as he waits for my answer. He rubs the back of his neck nervously. Winston is a tree of a man, but right now he looks like a lost little boy. Shy Winston is probably the most charming version I’ve seen thus far.
“You mean the kiss? It was better than okay. It was,” ––I sigh heavily as I remember how hot it was, how wet it made me––“incredible.”
He smiles as his gaze dips to the floor. “I thought I did it wrong. Or not the way people do it nowadays. It’s been over a century since I’ve kissed anyone.”
I chuckle at his admission, relieved that I wasn’t the only who spent the evening obsessing over it. “I can assure you that your kissing game is still very strong.”
I reach out to pat his arm, but he grabs my wrist and pulls me against him.
“Natalie,” Winston rumbles, and fuuuuck me, that voice alone makes my pussy clench. He pulls my hand up to his face and presses my fingertips against his lips. “I want to do it again. Will you let me?”
I practically melt where I stand. Who knew seeking consent could sound so hot?
“Yes,” I mutter. My voice oozes with desperation, but I don’t even have time to feel embarrassed before Winston’s mouth crashes into mine, hot with need. Our teeth gnash against each other at first, but then we find a rhythm, our tongues dancing, twisting as he walks us over to my bed. I push the suspenders off his shoulders and pull his shirt free from the rigid tuck it’s always in. “Take this off.”
His laugh is husky as he follows my command, tossing the shirt behind him.
“Mm,” I moan as I run my hands along his chest, then his abs, tracing every dip and curve of his muscled upper body, eager to learn it. “You are also quite dazzling, you know.”
He kisses me long and deep, then presses his forehead against mine as he whispers, “Glad you think so.”
A shiver rips through me as his hands cup my breasts, lifting them, testing the weight, then rubbing both nipples intohardened peaks through my shirt. “What’s this?” he asks, eyeing a stain in the center of my t-shirt.
“I spilled a shot of rum.”
He shakes his head, an amused expression softening his features. “How can one person be so messy?”
“I came out of the womb knocking shit over. What about you? How can one person be so stubborn?”
Winston’s face falls. “I wasn’t always like this. Neatness was the only way I could show I belonged. Like I was one ofthem. That, and speaking eloquently with an authoritative tone. I was told that these behaviors would fool enough people in their social circles into thinking I came from wealth.”
Them? “Your wife and her family?”
He nods. “I didn’t have money, or class, but if I kept things tidy, and lost my cool when they weren’t, they’d treat me like I almost fit in. Stomping around looking for someone to yell at seemed to be my ticket in with the wealthy white men in the area.”
“The path many mediocre white men take to the top,” I add.
I wrap my arms around his neck and pull him close, rubbing the tip of my nose against his. “You can be as messy as you want around me.”
