“That was the plan. I have an eight o'clock class tomorrow morning. My first test.” I try to swallow the lump in my throat. “When do you?” I swallow again, the lump is getting bigger. “When are you leaving?”
“We have to be on the transport by 0400.” He grips my hand. “Four a.m.” I look at the dashboard clock in his car, less than five hours before he leaves.
“I could stay with you until you go,” I breathe in. “Go home tomorrow morning. It’s okay if I miss my classes.”
He traces little circles on my hand. He looks into my eyes. “I won’t ask you to do that.”
I take in a breath. I'm not sure what to say.
He’s shaking his head. “I won’t ask you to do that.” He cups my face with his hands. “Not because I don’t want you with me tonight, but because you mean too much to me for me to ask that now. Does that make any sense?”
I put my hand on his chest so I can feel his heart beating. “Actually, it does.” I lean in to kiss him again. He pulls me across the gearshift and onto his lap.
We kiss for a long moment before he finally pulls away. He takes a ragged breath. "Maybe you’d better go now, before I change my mind. And before it gets any later.” He holds me against his chest. “Please drive carefully Jess, I can’t lose you.”
I shake my head at the irony. He’s the one who is going to war. That thought hits me hard. I hold onto him fiercely. Tears cloud my vision. “You,” I whisper in his ear. “Take care of yourself over there. I can’t lose you either.”
He pushes me to arm’s length and brushes his hand against my cheek. “No tears, Jess, please. I’ll be okay.”
He reaches over and opens the door. Reluctantly, I get out. He picks me up and I wrap my legs around his waist, like I can hold him here with me. He leans into my ear. “Don’t forget me, okay?”
I bury my head in his chest. “Never.”
He presses his lips to the top of my head. “I left something for you in the glove compartment of my car. In a white envelope.”
“What?”
"I wasn't sure when you'd be home again, or when you'd get it. I'm glad it's now. Open it as soon as you get home.” He sets me down and kisses me, one last time, soft and gentle. Too short. Then he presses the locket back in my hand. “I know you don’t need this anymore, but I hope you still want it.”
I squeeze it tightly in my fist. “I do.”
“I love you, Jess,” he says.
“I love you too,” I whisper.
It takes all of my strength not to go after him as he walks away. Make him stay with me, or go in with him. At least hold him one more time.
I start his car. The familiar roar of the engine is both comforting and excruciating. I feel safe in Jacob’s car, like his arms are around me. The rain is pelting the roof harder and harder. I turn on the windshield wipers and put the car in reverse.
I manage to hold it together until I get home. Then I park by the barn, cross my hands over the steering wheel and let the tears come.
My heart is full. Bittersweet. Joy and pain all mingled together.
Finally having him. Losing him. All in one day.
Just a couple of hours.
I press the locket against my lips.
Then I remember what Jacob said. I reach over and open the glove compartment. Inside is a white envelope with my name on it.
I trace his handwriting and then open the envelope with trembling fingers. The first thing I find is money, the same bills I gave him the night of our fight. The twenty-dollar bill is here too. Below the note I wrote that said, “For breakfast.” He added, “I still intend to collect on this.”
The last thing in the envelope is a little silver ring. A key ring, with keys that are identical to the ones in the car ignition except for a little silver heart that says “Jess”.
The note attached is simple.
“Something to remember me by.”
THE END
