But then my sweet little cockblocker woke up, and she always comes first. I was an idiot thinking I still had all the time in the world to tell her. Hadn’t life taught us both that life is too short not to wait because that moment can pass us in the blink of an eye?
What was supposed to be an amazing day, a new start for us, turned into a clusterfuck of atomic bomb proportions.
Did I know that Ollie was going to stop by? Of course not. Maybe I would have if I hadn’t left my phone by my bedside. But how can I not accept some of the blame for what transpired? We kept a major secret from those we love. Did we really think it would just blow over? No, not exactly, but I also didn’t expect some of those things out of my best friend’s mouth.
Payton’s life imploded from secrets once before. I should’ve come clean from the start, but I loved us living in the safety of our own bubble—until it popped viciously, leaving the broken latex pieces in its wake.
I didn’t even realize that silence could get louder and louder. The click of the lock echoes through the hallway, and I now notice each creak of the floor with every step I take. Had they always done that before? Even my breath sounds like I have a microphone to my mouth.
I’ve heard people who have a fear of silence because their minds can run rampant. I finally get it. Maybe if I keep my hands busy, that can take some of the energy away from my mind.
But as I finish unloading the dishwasher, all I see is the look of fear in Payton’s eyes and the sound of Gabby’s screams.
As I start a load of laundry, my heart catches in my throat when I find my T-shirt Payton discarded earlier and remember how much I loved her in my clothes. They were always swimming on her, but they made her lookmine.
I’m struggling to stay here in my home because it’s not a home right now. It’s only a home with Payton and Gabby. Right now, it’s just four walls and a roof that house too many memories of a glimpse of the perfect life. The life I didn’t even realize I needed or wanted.
Memories are everywhere. In the living room, I see Gabby in my arms when she giggled for the first time.
When passing the stairs, I recall what it felt like to be inside Pay for the first time. She’s utter perfection—inside and out.
Those moments are things I took for granted. I hadn’t realized that something so simple as walking into a room could be too much.
It’s why after two hours, I’m grabbing my keys and heading out the door.
I had planned to take the day off, but that was when the plan was to spend it with my girls. Now, what’s the point? To sit around here and feel like I’m coming out of my skin? To allow myself to fall down a rabbit hole of thoughts and allow the silence to swallow me whole? Emptiness is all I feel here without them. The silence is eating away at me one breath at a time.
If I can’t be with Payton, I’ll have to settle for the next best thing—the kitchen. Hopefully, that will distract me enough to make it through the day.
I can’t help myself. As if on instinct, I turn down New River Drive and pass the Mosby house. I just need to know she’s safe. When I see Pay’s vehicle parked out front, it takes everything in me to not stop. I end up gripping the steering wheel so tight that I crack a knuckle.
When I pull into my usual parking spot outside of Tilley’s, I glance at the time. I’m pretty sure I’ve missed the lineup meeting. It’s essentially a pre-shift staff meeting. It’s a core part of success, ensuring everyone is on the same page and that service runs smoothly.
I’ve worked in my fair share of kitchens over the years, and I’m not just saying this because he’s one of my best friends, but Archer Mosby is one of the best bosses around. He may be a grump, but these walls house his blood, sweat, and tears. It’s his entire world. Honestly, it was once mine, too.
Instead of sneaking in through the back door, I decide to walk around the front entrance. The empty main area, except for a server and a busboy rearranging chairs, confirms my assumption that the meeting is over. Mary Beth is leaning against the bar, deep in conversation with Logan. When the door shuts, they both look up, probably thinking that I’m a customer trying to come in early. However, my attention is on who is at the other end of the bar—Ollie stands there with his head down, completely ignoring my entrance.
“I thought you were off today,” Mary Beth says, announcing my arrival.
Nope, still nothing. Look at me, you dumb fuck.But he still doesn’t.
I shrug. “Things change.”
Ollie scoffs, and I’m pretty sure it’s loud enough that even Payton could hear it at her mom’s.
“Hmmmph. Shocker. Look how fast you can change your mind,” he mutters under his breath with enough disdain, as ifI’m the gum on the bottom of his shoes, before stomping off down the hall.
When I turn back toward Logan and Mary Beth, Mary Beth’s mouth hangs open while Logan is trying to assess the situation.
Ever since that day in the walk-in, he’s kept an eye on Payton and me. He knows there’s something happening between us, but I don’t think he knows the extent of it.
I can’t tell from his expression if he knows more, though. Does he know about this morning? Did Ollie come in here talking shit?
“Trouble in paradise?” Mary Beth questions, I’m sure super confused by the bleeding animosity between me and my best friend. “I thought his mood was because of Hollie being away, but maybe it’s you. The Mosby brothers were definitely sharing the stick up their ass during today’s meeting. I hope they at least sanitized it first.” She laughs at her own joke, but neither Logan nor I joins in. “So, care to elaborate so I can decide who gets me in the divorce?” Mary Beth props her chin on her fist. “To be clear, I’m easily swayed to your side with food, but Ollie has the better-looking ass to watch.”
I ignore her question since she’s just clearly fishing for tea in a way only her scatterbrain can allow and turn to Logan. “Thanks for planning to step in, but I got it.”
He just nods, and I make my way to the kitchen. Tonight after closing, I know Ollie won’t rush to get home with Hollie still away. We can sit down and talk this out then. I just need to get through the next few hours.
