Everyone has joined in with their singing, and I’m not sure dying cats sound much better, but I can’t help but smile as Pay sets the cake in front of me. Gabby’s eyes widen at the sight of the lit candles in front of us. I love getting to witness this first for her, and I can’t wait for this to be her birthday and she gets to try cake for the first time.
I close my eyes and not only wish for the scenario I told Pay earlier, but also that her brothers don’t make this my last birthday to celebrate after I tell them the truth that their sister is mine.
And then I blow out my candles.
It’s been a few days since my birthday and Ollie nearly caught us—not once, but twice.
I’ve realized that the harder I fall for Payton, the harder it becomes to keep up the lie to the world that she doesn’t mean absolutely everything to me. That she’s not the first thing I think of in the morning and the last thing I think about at night.
Payton is off today because her mom had some appointments, and Holland is away on a photo shoot. I wish I were home with them. Being in the kitchen used to be where I found my solace and felt grounded the most, but I’ve figured out that it’s not actually a place that does that but a person—or people. I guessI hadn’t put two and two together since I’ve had Payton in the kitchen with me, or at least in the same vicinity. But today, with her being off work, things have become abundantly clear. I just feel disconnected from this place.
So far today, I’ve nicked the edge of my thumb while prepping and burned my palm when grabbing a tray from the oven.
I can’t stop my mind from drifting to what Pay and Gabby might be doing at home. Are they lounging on the couch, watching Gabby’s newest obsession—a YouTube star who teaches kids sounds and sings songs—or maybe they went for a walk around the neighborhood? Whatever it is, I wish I were there.
“Rhyland,” Ollie shouts, pulling me out of the haze.
I follow his gaze to the stove with smoke slowly rising from the pan.
“Fuck,” I hiss and rush over to grab the pan and toss it over to the sink. I can’t help but laugh to myself, remembering the same scenario the night of Payton’s and my first date here.Great, I’m still trying to burn the place down, apparently.
“What’s your issue today?” Ollie says.
I bark out a laugh. “Well, if that isn’t the pot calling the kettle black.” Since I got in today, Ollie has seemed to take a page from his brother’s broody playbook. Holland left yesterday for a weeklong on-site photo shoot, and Ollie has been a grumpy asshole ever since. He’s been snippy and grouchy.
“Yeah, well, I have every reason to be moody. My wife left me.”
I roll my eyes. “For a fucking week, you dumbass.”
“Yeah, but that’s like forever in married time.”
I guess I can’t fault him. It’s been only hours since I left Payton, and it feels like forever. But of course, I can’t tell him that.
“Maybe you should call up the owner of that sexy little number I found in your room on your birthday. I think you need torelease some of that pent-up aggression you got going on there, buddy. But for real, don’t bring that shit around my sister and niece. I hate what that dickhead did to Payton, and she’s already fucked-up from that. I think she’s more fucked-up than she leads on. The last thing she needs is your man-whoring ways corrupting her, too. Bad enough my niece has that piece-of-shit’s DNA running through her veins. That will probably fuck her up in itself.”
I grip the counter tight enough to make my knuckles turn white from the strain as he keeps talking. At some point, I block him out. I hate hearing Ollie talk about his sister like this, but especially when it’s not true. Yes, Joel was manipulative and vindictive and fucked her up—but not beyond repair. Because I came in and showed her what a genuine relationship is and how a real man is to treat the woman he cares about.
“Anyway, you should—” Ollie begins, but his phone rings, interrupting him. In my head, I finish his statement withyou should probably shut the fuck up, but thankfully, he holds up his phone, showing a picture of Hollie in…well, umm, quite a scandalous photo—what the fuck.
“Hey, baby, I’m dying here without you,” he says, turning and leaving the kitchen.
Pressing my hands on the counter, I flatten my back and try to calm my racing heart.I will not punch the ever-loving fuck out of my best friend, boss, and girlfriend’s brother, I repeat over and over.
But I’m not sure how long I can keep this to ourselves. I make a mental note to bring it up with Pay tonight when I get home. I’m done hiding this—I’m ready to show the world she’s mine and I’m hers.
By the time the dinner rush is over, my head feels like it’s about to explode. Thankfully, Ollie never had time to return to the kitchen to finish our conversation. I step out to theback alley, and without a second thought, I’m dialing Payton’s number.
“Hey,” Payton’s voice comes through the phone, and I relax. “Is everything okay? Why are you calling me from work?” I hear her shuffle around on the other end. “You didn’t get in another fight and I’m your one phone call from jail, right?”
I laugh and rest my head back against the brick. Just that small laughter makes my chest feel lighter. “You think you’re sooo funny?”
“Yeah, and usually, so do you,” she teases back, knowing she’s right. “But seriously, are you okay?”
I sigh. “Yeah, I just—” How do I even put this in words without sounding like a crazy person and maybe sending her for the hills? After a few seconds of silence, I decide to say fuck it. I only ever want to be honest with her. “I just needed to hear your voice.”
I hear a small gasp, and I hold my breath. “Pay?”
“Yeah, I’m here.” I don’t even need to see her to know that she’s smiling. There’s an uptick in her voice that appears when she’s beaming.
