If she couldn’t find her mum, then maybe she could speak to Ryan, make sure he was okay at least, and then she’d keep on looking.
She imagined Warren crowing at his news desk.Arrrrghh!What had she been thinking? Warren was all the same mistakes she’d made before, plus a few new ones.
Somewhere in Pine Bluff, two people she cared about deeply were thinking badly of her, and she almost couldn’tbear it. She would swear she could feel their chagrin carried on the cold north wind, and it made her legs want to buckle under her. She needed to apologize for so many things.
She burst into Coast Roast like a whirling dervish, apologies exploding on her tongue, only to find Mina staring at her with an expression that could curdle cream.
“Can I help you?” she asked, in voice of such frozen politeness that the inference was clearly, “Can I shove icicles through your eyeballs?”
Fred couldn’t blame her. By now the whole town would know the full extent of Warren’s betrayal, and she’d been sat right next to him while he hatched his plans.
Fred was in a 360-degree mess, and the evidence slapped her in the face every which way she turned. She took a breath and tried to swallow down some of the anxiety that was crawling up her throat.
“I’m l-looking f-for Ryan,” she managed to stammer. “Is he here?”
Mina sucked in a frustrated breath. “No.”
“Can you tell me where he is? Please?”
Mina’s mouth was a thin disapproving line.
“Please! I need to find him. I swear I had NOTHING to do with that article.”
She watched as Mina wrestled with what she should do. Finally, with a great huff of a sigh, she relented. “He’s out on deliveries. You could try Eadie’s, but he might already be at the Forest Inn.”
“Thank you!” she said, gratefully.
“Don’t make me regret it!” she shouted after her as Fred blew back out of the shop.
Ryan wasn’t in Eadie’s, and her reception there was even chillier than it had been at Coast Roast. At the deli she wasn’t even allowed to cross the threshold.
The high street was cheek-by-jowl busy as visitors flocked around the market stalls, and Fred had to squeeze her way between shoppers. She kept hoping to see her mum in the crowd, but there was no sign of her. By now she’d lost track of how many times she’d called her.
The Forest Inn was relatively quiet, the lunch rush wouldn’t start for another hour or so, but a few tables were occupied by people sipping cappuccinos, either escaping from the melee outside or bracing themselves to face it once again.
She headed for the bar to be greeted by a stony-faced Andreas, and steeled herself to make what felt like her seventy-fifth apology this morning.
“Hi, Andreas, I want you to know that I’m sorry about everything. I didn’t know. I realize that’s of little help to anyone but it’s true, I never would have…” She could tell from his expression that he wasn’t in a forgiving mood. Even sweet-natured Andreas was done with her. Making amends seemed like an insurmountable task. But it was a task that would have to wait. “Have you seen Ryan?”
“You’ve missed him.”
“Do you know where he was headed next?”
From the other end of the bar a familiar voice croaked,“He mentioned something about doing a delivery a few miles round the coast. I forget the name of the place.” It was Liam, sitting alone, gazing at an Americano like he wished it was a whisky. His voice was gravelly, as if he hadn’t spoken in days, or he’d been screaming into the void for hours.
Fred hadn’t known it was possible to harbor so many different types of guilt all at once. But the worst incarnation of this unwelcome emotion was the one creeping up on her now; the knowledge in every fiber of her being that she had broken something, possibly irrevocably, within her mother.
She pulled up a stool next to Liam’s. “Have you seen Mum?” she asked. “We had an argument that didn’t get settled, and I can’t find her.”
“I’ve seen your mother.” His voice was flat, and Fred experienced a terrible sinking feeling.
She cleared her throat, almost too afraid to ask, for fear of the answer. “What did she say?”
“That we can’t be together.”
Oh Goddess! Please help me fix this!
“I’m so sorry, Liam—”
