“I had no idea you were so wise.”
He looked sheepish. “Your Aunt Cam said it to me after my last breakup.”
Fred laughed. “Of course. Did she also tell you the color of your aura?”
“Mostly orange; apparently, I’m motivated and good at expressing my feelings.”
“I’d say that’s true.”
“How about you?” Ryan asked.
“When she last brought it up, I was all the darker greens, which I think meant I was seeking love but apprehensive about letting people in; basically, needy and scared.” She pulled an “eeek!” face at him, and he laughed.
“Good job I like a challenge. Maybe our auras are the perfect combination. What colors do green and orange make?”
“Brown. We make mud,” she said, glibly.
“Oh, well, that’s brilliant! Brown is my favorite color; it’s the color of coffee, and the earth the coffee plants grow in, and tree trunks, the most sturdy and reliable plants on the planet. Oh, and mushrooms, I love mushrooms.”
“Wow, you really are one of Father Christmas’s elves.”
He grinned, keeping his eyes on the road ahead as they drove out of the town and onto the winding road leading uphill to Hallow House. The quiet that followed was easy as each of them contemplated what had passed that evening.
They parked outside the gates to the house, and Ryan allowed the engine to idle. She could sense that he was building up to saying something, so she waited for him to speak.
He took a breath. “I think it’s time for you to be done apologizing for yourself.”
She hadn’t expected that. “What do you mean?”
He took a moment, measuring his words, before speaking. “I think you’ve spent a lot of time trying to be what you think people want you to be, and tamping down the elements that you think they won’t want, and I don’t think it’s healthy to bypass parts of yourself like that…” He hesitated. “I don’t think it can make you happy.”
“You think I’m unhappy?” Fred replied.
“With yourself…I think maybe you have been. Tell me I’m wrong.”
She felt exposed and tried to joke it away. “Where is all this coming from? Have you been at the aunts’ special cookies?”
He smiled at her attempt to deflect with humor. “I know you don’t like talking about this stuff, but I’m going to say it anyway. You don’t need to be a curated version of yourself, not for anyone, and especially not for me. You are a multifaceted person and I…I like all your facets, even the ones you don’t. I hope one day you’ll like them too.”
His words struck a chord inside her, the vibrations singing out around her ribs and rattling the chains on the parts of herself she’d kept locked away, scared of being thought too odd, too unconventional, too much.
She reached across and took his hand, meeting his eyes. “Thank you,” she said quietly, smiling self-consciously.
“You’re welcome.” His returning smile was warm.
They sat quietly for a while, with only the sound of the engine ticking over and the wind whistling through the trees outside.
Finally, Fred said, “I’d better go in.”
“Yeah.”
“Thank you, for tonight. And for liking all my facets.”
He laughed softly. “Anytime.”
A moment passed and then Fred opened the door and stepped out into the cold. She leaned back in; Ryan’s handsome face was illuminated by the interior light. “I’ll see you soon?”
He nodded, smiling at her. “You will.”
