“You weren’tbadat all; you were fierce and fiery, and I loved that about you. You were all the things I wished I’d been when I was younger. I was happy that you were such a strong personality; I thought the world would have a tougher time grinding you down because of it.”
“You thought I was strong?” Fred’s voice caught in her throat. She hadn’t felt strong when she was with Tim.
“Of course.”
“You didn’t think that I stayed with Tim because I was too weak to leave?”
“Never.” Bella rested her hand on Fred’s. “Women whostay in abusive relationships may be trapped and terrorized, but they’re never weak.”
“Are you thinking about Grandma?”
Her mum smiled. “I wish you could have met her. You’re a lot like her. She kept her light under a bushel when my father was around, but when it was just the two of us, she was luminous, like you. My mum was cleverer and braver than my dad, and he knew it. He was such a pathetic specimen of a man that the only weapon he had at his disposal was to control her by brute force.”
“I’m a lot like you as well,” Fred said softly. Once upon a time, she would’ve hated to acknowledge their similarities. Now she found herself hoping that, in time, she might become even more like her mum. She could certainly use some of her calm understanding.
Bella gave a small chuckle. “Sorry about that.”
Fred looked into eyes that were the mirror image of her own. “I’m not,” she said, smiling.
Her mum’s returning smile was full of soft warmth that made her blue eyes shine even brighter.
And then Fred’s phone pinged with a message from Ryan, piercing their serenity, and Fred huffed with annoyance.
“You going to open that?” Bella asked, seeing his name on the screen.
Fred huffed again. “No. I’m too cross to read his words.”
“It’s funny seeing you two together again, after all these years.”
Fred screwed her face up.
“When you were kids, Martha and I used to wonder ifyou’d end up dating at some point. You were always so close. But you never did. Probably for the best.”
“Why do you say that?” Fred asked, curiosity overcoming her pique.
“Because one or both of you would have been broken-hearted when it ended. You needed to leave Pine Bluff and spread your wings, and though Ryan did the same eventually, he wasn’t ready to go off to university at eighteen like you were.”
“I guess. And now we’re both back where we started.” Her tone was glib.
“Not where you started. Not by a long stretch. You need to stop viewing moving back as a failure.” Bella’s tone was succinct. “Ryan’s brought back a thriving business. And look at you: a university degree, a career in advertising and years of living life in the Big Smoke under your belt. You made it. And you will continue to make it, whether you settle here or you move on again. Success isn’t a one-shot deal; your achievements don’t become null and void simply because your circumstances shift. What it looks like might change, but it’s cumulative, and you get to keep all your triumphs as you move through life.”
Fred reflected on how completely things could change; the hours she spent with her mum were fast becoming her favorite part of the day. “I used to hate the way you turned every bad thing into a positive, but now I think I kind of like it.”
Bella chuckled. “I knew I’d grow on you eventually. So, what has Ryan done to annoy you?”
“He doesn’t like Warren.”
“Does he need to?”
“No?” She could hear her own uncertainty.
“Then why are you annoyed that he doesn’t?”
Fred sighed, exasperated. “Because it makes me feel like he thinks he’s better than me. Like he can see something that I can’t.”
“That doesn’t sound like Ryan’s MO. I’m not sure he has enough ego for that.” When Fred didn’t bat back an answer right away, Bella went on tentatively. “Could it be that you’re projecting your own feelings of doubt onto him?”
Her mum had her pegged.
