“I cannot stress enough how many hours of making lattes it would take for me to replace these,” Kieran shot back.
“Well…I guess that’s fair.”Sebastian nodded.“I’ll grab a towel.And, uh—thanks for the spell.It helps.”
Once Sebastian’s back was turned, Kieran exhaled, doing his best not to go into a spiral.Was this dangerous?Almost certainly.Could he get hurt?Yes.But at the same time, part of him felt oddly happy that Sebastian had agreed.It seemed vulnerable, in away, to let Kieran see this part of himself that he seemed so desperate to hide.
Outside, Kieran heard the wind whistling.As he went to Sebastian’s bed, he glanced out the window.The blizzard had begun.While they were flying high enough to avoid the brunt of it, Kieran could still see crackles of lightning skittering across the clouds below.They were so thick they looked almost solid enough to walk on.The way they moved felt too slow and relaxed, considering the wreckage lightning and snow like that could cause below.
Sebastian returned from his bathroom with a towel.Seeing Kieran’s expression, he said, “You can still say no.You really don’t have to do this.”
Kieran shook his head.“I’m sure—really.”
Sebastian studied him a moment longer, as if trying to read his face for signs of hesitation.Kieran wouldn’t necessarily call what he was feeling fear—more like anticipation.Ultimately, he trusted Sebastian.Even if he hadn’t been forthright about his secret—and there certainly seemed to be more Kieran didn’t know about him—Kieran was inclined to believe he wouldn’t hurt him on purpose.He’d been so gentle the last few days, letting Kieran take the lead when they snuck away together to kiss on the observation deck.It had made Kieran feel confident in a way he hadn’t before.
Sebastian handed Kieran the towel, and he laid it out over the pillow.Kieran lay back on it while Sebastian slid onto the comforter, straddling Kieran’s hips with his knees.Kieran looked up at him, noticing how all of his eyes were trained on Kieran’s throat.He could imagine what it must look like, his jugular pulsing with each rabbit-quick beat of his heart.For a moment, Sebastian’s eyesseemed to glaze over, their red glow growing brighter.His lips parted, revealing the edges of his fangs.
He hesitated.
“It’s okay,” Kieran promised.“Really.”
Another long second passed before Sebastian nodded, closing his primary eyes.Gently, he leaned down, using his spiderlike fingers to brush away a loose curl that had fallen over Kieran’s neck.They were sharp, and Kieran had to stop himself from cringing.With one long finger, Sebastian gently pushed Kieran’s chin to the side, exposing his throat.
As soon as he did, his restraint seemed to fall away.So fast that Kieran barely had time to make a sound, Sebastian was on top of him, fangs piercing his throat.
Kieran gasped as pain cut through him like an electric shock.He squeezed his eyes shut, hand fisting around the comforter as he winced.His body tensed until the pain was suddenly replaced with a warm sensation, and he didn’t feel the punctures in his neck anymore.Instead, it was just low heat and the gentle kiss of Sebastian’s lips against Kieran’s skin.If he hadn’t known better, he might have assumed it was nothing but a kiss.The heat of Sebastian’s venom quickly spread through Kieran’s body with each pump of his heart, melting away his sense of fear.Sebastian had been right—itwaspleasant.Far more than Kieran ever would have guessed.He slid one hand into Sebastian’s hair while the other went to his back, feeling the warmth coming off him in waves.
Sebastian drank for only a few more seconds before pulling away from Kieran’s throat, gasping for breath.The extra eyes had vanished, and his normal ones had returned to dark brown.
He rubbed a hand over two ruby drip lines on either side of his mouth, wiping most of it away.“Thank you,” he whispered.He pressed a kiss to Kieran’s cheek, then moved his legs so he sat beside him, still trying to catch his breath.
Kieran gingerly touched his neck and felt puncture marks from Sebastian’s top and bottom fangs, though they didn’t seem to be bleeding.Something about Sebastian’s venom made the blood clot faster.
“Are you okay?”Sebastian asked.Kieran realized he hadn’t responded when Sebastian had spoken before, and nodded, his head still cloudy from the euphoria that had consumed him.
“I—I think so.”His nose wrinkled.“Should I disinfect this?Or put some ointment on it?I wouldn’t want to get an infection—”
Much to his surprise, Sebastian sputtered a laugh.When Kieran looked at him, wounded, Sebastian explained: “The holes will close on their own in a few minutes.The venom helps with that.There shouldn’t be any marks or anything either.”
Kieran breathed a sigh of relief.He could just imagine Briar’s face if she knew what he had done, and how much she would rib him for it if she ever found out.“That’s probably for the best.”
He sat up, feeling a little lightheaded but otherwise unharmed.He pressed his back against the headboard, letting his shoulders slump.Looking sideways at Sebastian, he added, “Did you get enough to last you until tomorrow?”
Sebastian nodded.“I’ll still need to hunt in a few days, but…I should be fine for now.Truly, I cannot thank you enough, Kieran.You…really saved me from myself.”
“From your curse,” Kieran corrected.When Sebastian tiltedhis head to the side in confusion, Kieran said, “You are not your curse.That’s something Delilah really hammered home back when I still had mine.It’s better to remember that it isn’t your fault that you have one, so you don’t define yourself by it.”
Sebastian pushed a lock of hair out of his face.“But…what if it was my fault?”
Kieran’s brow wrinkled.He couldn’t imagine why Sebastian would think that—in all his experiences with curses, the people who cast them were the villains, not the people being cursed.It was why he harbored so much self-hatred for what had happened with Ash.
“Unless you cursed yourself, I don’t know how it could be.”
“I…” Sebastian trailed off, waving his hand.“Maybe you’re right.But…thank you, Kieran.Genuinely.”
And while Kieran smiled and nodded at that, in the back of his mind, all he could think of was that single statement:
What if it was my fault?
Chapter Nineteen
