Imperceptible, barely a memory—
To you, the only man I’ve ever loved.
Maybe in a different time, sooner than later,
When I’m worthy of your tender heart,
When I’m confident, sure, and skilled,
You can see me again
And I’ll be something better than the boy
You left downtown on a snowy night.
He liked it.There was still work to be done to polish it, but it felt good to express his feelings honestly.It helped that the weight that had been hanging heavy inside him seemed to have dissipated as he worked, and for the first time in hours, his shoulders relaxed.Kieran stood, closed the book, and took a deep breath.
I’ll talk to Ash when I wake up,he silently promised as he crawled into bed.And apologize for everything.Maybe I can convince him that I can change and stop comparing myself to others so much.
And maybe then he’ll decide we don’t need a break.
The moment he shut his eyes, Kieran fell into a heavy, dreamless sleep.
The next day, after scraping together a few hours of sleep, Kieran woke up with a new sense of purpose.Sure, Ash seemed set on leaving him for being an insecure ass, and yes, he’d had to depend on his sister and her girlfriend to defend him from a mugger, but that was yesterday.New dawn, new day, and all that.He could fix this.
Kieran caught the trolley near their apartment and took it across town to the Gellingham Library, better known as the Library of Curses for its sweeping collection of cursed scrolls, tomes, and slates.Cursewriting had long been illegal in Celdwyn—with magic removal being the typical punishment for witches who defied the Council—but the library was still one of the most bustling hubs for witches in the world.Ash’s apprenticeship there was a testament to how good he was at what he did.
The only downside was that witches who had yet to pass their Calling weren’t allowed inside.Which meant that for half an hour, Kieran stood outside the front entrance, shivering in the snow, waiting for Ash’s shift to end.The entire time, he rehearsed what he was going to say:I’m so sorry for making you feel like you weren’t enough for me.I swear I’ll be better.Just give me a chance.
When Ash finally appeared, Kieran’s heart leapt.The other boy had shadows under his eyes, and Kieran wondered if maybe he’d had trouble sleeping last night too.Maybe he was having second thoughts about the break.
“Ash!”Kieran called, waving a hand in the air.“Wait up!”
Ash, however, didn’t turn.He was heading toward the trolley, seeming not to have heard Kieran’s shout.Kieran cursed under his breath, then jogged to catch up with him, careful not to step wrong on the cobblestones and twist his ankle.
“Ash!”he tried again.The other boy didn’t so much as look up at the sound of his voice, staring ahead.Kieran felt a stab of hurt—he knew they hadn’t exactly ended on the best of terms last night, but Ash’s flat-out ignoring him seemed a little juvenile.“Hey!”
Kieran was right next to him now, but despite his saying Ash’s name a few more times and waving a hand at him, Ash didn’t respond.Kieran’s forehead wrinkled.Is he really that mad at me?
“Ash, come on,” Kieran said, walking beside him.They had reached the crosswalk, and Ash checked both ways before heading forward.As he turned his head to the right, he looked Kieran directly in the face.
Still, he didn’t react.He simply stepped into the crosswalk, unfazed.
“Ash, seriously!”Kieran reached out and grabbed his shoulder.“Can we just talk—”
“Ah!”Ash yelped at Kieran’s touch.He flipped around, pressing a hand to the spot where Kieran had touched him.His eyes darted back and forth, passing over Kieran more than once.He muttered under his breath, “What was that?”
Kieran blinked.Huh?
In lieu of a better idea, Kieran reached out and poked him.“Hello?”
Ash jumped again, eyes widening.He said, “Okay, this isn’t funny.Whoever that was, show yourself.I’m not sure how you managed an invisibility spell, but you got me.”
Invisibility spell?Kieran hadn’t cast anything of the sort.At least, not on purpose.And it wasn’t as if other people hadn’t seen him today—Delilah had said goodbye to him when he left the apartment, and the ticket taker on the trolley had given him a dirty look as he’d dug through his pockets trying to find his trolley pass for a few moments too long.He hadn’t successfully managed to cast a spell that did more than a create a few sparks, well…ever.The closest he’d ever gotten was when he was writing—
His stomach dropped.
Poetry.
