He smiled at the good memory as he flicked through the pages, stopping at a doodle of Treasure Chest newsagents, drawn by Alice. He couldn’t remember her doing it, but it didn’t surprise him, as she often sat by his side along the harbour.
A few of his old action figures were still unwrapped in their boxes, which came as a surprise. He reckoned they might be worth a few quid now, especially as they were untouched. He put them to one side, then peered inside the box to see what else he would find.
He laughed quietly at spotting a picture of Alice as a girl sitting next to him on the wall outside the B&B. His childhood seemed like a lifetime ago. Sighing, he reached for another photo, and his heart paused as he gazed at his mum. She looked so happy, her hair blowing across her face, laughing, perhaps at that. Silently, he thanked his nan for the pictures as he carefully placed them to one side of the box.
A few letters were bunched together by an elastic band. Nothing he recognized. They weren’t any he or Alice used in their correspondence.
Filled with curiosity, Jamie opened the one on top, widening his eyes as soon as he saw it was written to him from his nan.
There was no date marked, so he had no idea when she had decided to write to him. His main question was why hadn’t she posted them.
Reading through, it was clear she had things to get off her chest, and an apology for not contacting him in prison was explained in great length.
She didn’t need to say a word, he already knew it was difficult for her, not to mention how disappointed she was. He remembered it all.
But something had triggered her to write the letters, and as he read through each one, it became clear she had regrets, and that she had guessed Alice had been there for him as usual, which she was pleased about.
Jamie raised the paper to his nose, hoping he could smell his grandmother’s scent, but there was no whiff of lavender. Nothing but her words, so he closed his eyes for a moment, absorbing all he had left of the woman who had tried her best to raise him.
‘Oh, Nan,’ he murmured, a lump clogging his throat.
The pain ripping into his heart was made worse by not being able to speak to his grandmother, to say his own apologies. All he wanted was to hold her, tell her how much he loved her, but she was gone.
A light tapping came at his door, taking him from his guilt. He creaked to a stand, knowing it would be Alice, no doubt checking on him once more.
‘Hi, I came up to see . . . What’s happened, Jamie?’
He glanced at her pink dressing gown as he let her in, then pointed at his things on the floor. ‘My nan wrote to me, but she didn’t send the letters.’
Alice knelt to his side as he went back to sitting on the floor. ‘What did she say?’
‘She’s making amends.’ He covered his face with his hands and lowered his head as his emotions got the better of him. ‘I can’t do the same.’ Alice’s arms curled around his shoulders, and her head gently rested upon his. ‘I don’t know what to do.’ He sniffed, rolling back tears, not wanting to fall apart on her. Not wanting to cry at all.
‘Just keep doing what you’re doing, Jamie. She’s watching over you. And I know she’s so proud.’
He raised his weary head to meet her eyes, all walls a pile of rubble. ‘I feel so alone, Alice.’
‘You’re not alone. I won’t leave.’
He stared at her for a while, having one of his moments where he wondered if she was real. He had those moments when he was poorly as a child, when he was depressed in his teens, when he was spinning out of control as a young man. This angel was always somewhere close, offering a ray of light.
‘How about we get you into bed?’ she suggested, reaching for his arm as she stood. ‘Sleep will do you some good right now.’
Not knowing what would be good for him, he let her lead him over to the bed and tuck him in.
‘Stay awhile. Please.’
Alice settled by his side, taking his hand in hers. ‘Close your eyes, Jamie. It’s going to be okay.’
Those were the words she used to say to him when he was unwell as a child. Round about now, she’d pick up a book and start reading, but this time, she lightly stroked her thumb across his hand, and once more his angel soothed his soul.
Chapter 13
Alice
Old Market Square was buzzing with visitors for Port Berry’s annual Christmas tree lighting. Food stalls lined the cobbled area, selling delicious snacks and beverages, and over in Anchorage Park a small funfair jingled and chimed, illuminating the green with twinkling lights and colourful sparkles.
The steeple of a beautiful stone-built church peeped over a small hill, no more than a two-minute walk away, where Alice and Jamie headed first.
