“But there is a chance,” I insisted. “And you have to know that. It must have crossed your mind.”
His jaw locked.
“There was something I needed to do but didn’t, and if I don’t make it back…” I lifted the letters. “Can you make sure these get to them? It’s important.”
He stared at them as if they were full of spiders.
“Please.”
“Fuck,” he muttered and snatched the letters from my hand. “Tawny?” He turned the other over, and his shoulders bunched. “Millicent,” he whispered, his gaze lifting to mine.
“I don’t know anyone else who would be willing to find her if she doesn’t eventually show up,” I said. “But it’s important.”
His gaze returned to the letters, and a long moment passed. “I’ll make sure they get them.” He let out a breath, then looked up. “But whatever is in them? You can tell them yourself.”
“I plan to. That,”—I gestured at the letters he now held—“is just in case.”
He nodded, and a few seconds passed. “If you see Millicent…”
“I will bring her back,” I said, hoping it was a promise I could keep.
“Okay.” Malik pressed his lips together. “But…but you’ve got to come back.” His voice hoarsened. “I can’t…” He cleared his throat. “I can’t lose my brother.”
My heart squeezed. “I know.” I swallowed and blinked rapidly. “I need to go.”
Malik said nothing as I started to turn. “Millicent will be pissed if you don’t return.”
I turned back and felt my lips spread into a small smile. “I wouldn’t want that.”
“Trust me.” His laugh was raspy and thick. “You do not.”
Rubbing my chest, I took a thin breath. A moment passed. “Take care of yourself, Malik.”
His gaze rose.
“Promise that. No matter how this ends, you’ll start taking care of yourself,” I urged. “The Ascended need you, and…if things go south, your family will need you, too. So will Millicent. Promise me.”
Malik’s chest rose, but it didn’t fall. “Yeah,” he said, his voice rough. “I promise.”
It was ten to noon.
I hadn’t sought out anyone to say goodbye. Not Tawny or Vonetta, not even Delano, Naill, or Emil. All but Tawny knew what I was about to do, and I didn’t want to say goodbye. It felt too…permanent and unsettling.
I was already unsettled enough.
As I stood in the Great Hall, taking in all the changes made to the space, I wondered if I should’ve left a letter for Casteel.
I hadn’t been able to do that.
What would I have said that wouldn’t have caused me to break down? Nothing.
Casteel wasn’t here.
I couldn’t look at Kieran as Attes milled about, eyeing the Atlantian banners that replaced the crimson ones—the ones bearing the sun and the sword and arrow crossed evenly in the middle. Instead, I stared up at the glass dome. The paint hadbeen scratched away, allowing the sunlight in. How long had it been since that had happened? Hundreds of years?
Lowering my gaze to where Attes stood near the statue, I knew we could’ve left by now.
Wait.
