POPPY
Surprised by the depths of his feelings, I was a little stunned as I held on to Kieran’s shoulders. He always kept what he was feeling carefully tucked away, to the point where I could count on one hand how many times he’d shown any heightened emotions. But right now, hetrembledas he held me against him, making me feel as if the very realm itself was a little off-kilter.
Other than Casteel, the only other person who had ever held me this way, as if they worried that I would slip away from their embrace, was…
Leopold.
The memory of the night in Lockswood flashed through my mind, brief and vivid. He’d held me tightly with arms that trembled like Kieran’s did now, almost as if he knew it would be the last time.
Squeezing my eyes shut as the memory faded, I focused on Kieran again, my arms tightening around his shoulders. My throat thickened with tears as his warmth bled through his dark-gray tunic. I never realized how good Kieran’s hugs felt. Then again, they were rare.
Feeling Casteel walk past us, I opened my eyes. He stood to the side and stared at the floor. His jaw was clenched tight, and he’d balled the hand at his side. He must be picking up on what Kieran was feeling.
Gods. I wished neither of them had had to go through what they did while waiting for me to wake up or while I was under Kolis’s influence.
Kieran lowered me, drawing my attention. Once my feet were on the floor, I gazed up at him. He looked the same, yet he didn’t. His handsome features still carried the hint of wildness all wolven had, but like Casteel, there was a day or so’s worth of growth along his jaw and lower cheeks. There was also a golden undertone beneath the warm, beige-brown of his skin that hadn’t been there before. The glow of eather behind his winter-blue eyes was much brighter, and there was a sheen to them now that I knew had nothing to do with the essence.
Kieran didn’t let go, he just clasped my shoulders as he asked, “How are you feeling? And did you feed? Are you hungry?” Glancing at the table, he frowned. “And why is that draken standing out in the hall?”
A shaky laugh, something between a sob and a chuckle, broke past the lump in my throat. “Which question would you like me to answer first?”
The color in his cheeks deepened. “How you’re feeling.”
“I feel fine. Likemyself,” I said. “Casteel told me what happened when I woke earlier.”
Kieran’s chest rose with a deep breath as he sent Casteel a quick look.
“She doesn’t remember,” Casteel answered, not looking at us. He just eyed the floor.
I stiffened. There was something off about his tone. It was clipped and maybe even a little cold. I suddenly realized this was the first time he had spoken since Kieran entered.
“And you’ve fed?” Kieran asked me.
I nodded and cleared my throat. “Yeah.”
“Good. That’s good,” he said, his voice wavering and a bit hoarse. He still held me by the shoulders as if half-afraid to let go. His exhale was rough. “You’re sure you feel fine?”
“I do,” I assured him as Casteel sat on a chair, his boots in hand. “I know I don’t remember what I did while under Kolis’s influence…” A heavy weight settled in my chest the moment I said the Primal’s name. I forced myself to take a slow, deep breath. Talking about Kolis didn’t mean I needed to think about how he had seized control of me. “But I want to apologize—”
“No, absolutely not,” Kieran interrupted me, his hands slipping to my upper arms and squeezing. “You have nothing—absolutely nothing—to apologize for.”
“But—”
“There are no buts, Poppy. And there’s nothing more to say about any of that,” he said in a low and firm voice, brooking no argument. “Okay?”
“Okay.” I drew out the word, a little unsettled by his intensity. It left me wondering exactly what I had done or said.
Kieran dropped his hands. Clearing his throat, he looked over at Cas as I stepped back. “If she fed, that meansyouneed to feed. Emil—”
“As I’ve said a hundred times,” Casteel interrupted, “there are others besides Emil.” He picked up his other boot. “And I will. Later.”
“Actually,” I said, my neck tingling again as I looked over my shoulder at Cas. “I think you can feed from Kieran now.” My gaze snapped back to him. “I mean, if that’s okay with you.”
Kieran’s gaze shot to Cas. He had frozen, the boot still in his hands. They both turned their attention to me.
“Shit. I didn’t even think of that until now,” Cas murmured. “That should be…intriguing.”
Kieran shot him a bland look. “And why would he be able to feed from me now?” he asked.
