Holland huffed as he took a drink, and I looked at him.
“The reasoning for that is roughly the same as why the Ascended covet second sons and daughters,” Lirian continued as Holland’s gaze met mine. “Is there something you want to add, Holland?”
Lowering his glass, he smiled tightly. “Only that her situation is…a little more complicated.”
I laughed then. “A littlemorecomplicated?”
“And unexpected,” Holland said. “It was not just your birth that made you what you are today. It was also the choices you and others made—choices born of all the emotions one can feel.”
“Careful,” Lirian warned softly.
“The Joining,” I whispered, feeling my cheeks heat. Did they know what had transpired during the—?
Thorne’s gaze caught mine, and I caught the slow curl of his lips.
Nope.
Wasn’t going to think about that.
Besides, what Holland had said—a single word, actually—caused my thoughts to flash to what I had seen while in stasis.
Unexpected.
It wasn’t the dreams of the ten Ancients I searched through. It was the… I sucked in a sharp breath. “When Eythos created the draken, he didn’t know the—”
“Dragons,” Thorne interrupted. “They were called dragons.”
“Okay.” I drew out the word. “Thanks for the input. But thedragonshad emotions and intelligence. That’s what gave mortals the ability to feel.”
“Duality always carries uncertainty,” Holland remarked.
I moved toward the window. “And the Joining… That included one of dual life.” As soon as the words left me, instinct told me I was right. “That’s another variable. A big one.”
Holland nodded. “Those of dual life are not just closely tied to the gods. They are tied to the Primals—to a true Primal of Life. Like the first Primals and those who created them, they are beings of pure essence, able to change forms at will.”
A dull throb in my finger suddenly drew my attention. I looked down to see that I’d wound the robe’s sash around my finger so tightly that it had turned white. I unwound the sash and thought about my mother. How Isbeth had commented on my relationship—Casteel’s and my relationship—with Kieran. I’d thought she was just being crude. Had she been seeking to know if we’d completed the Joining?
My head jerked up to find Holland watching me. “Did my—did Isbeth know what the Joining could do?”
He was quiet for a moment and then said, “Isbeth knew many things. She knew that one of her daughters would be powerful. But this? She could not know what we could not understand fully ourselves.”
Was that why she’d been so surprised when I called for Seraphena? She’d said it wasn’t time. I had thought she was talking about my Ascension, but now I wasn’t surewhatshe meant by that.
“Isbeth was many things, Poppy, as I’m sure you know.” Something close to empathy shone in Holland’s eyes, and I looked away from it. I didn’t want to see it. “What she desired and what those who aided her wanted were two very different things. She may have realized that if she had not been blinded by vengeance and wrath.”
My heart stuttered. “What do you mean?”
“Allhecan say is that her fate was sealed long before you were born.” Lirian pushed off the window. “Her choices ensured that.”
I wanted to ask what choices, even though I already knew, but it was like some childish part of me still couldn’t reconcile who she was to me at one time with who she truly was.
My chest tightened as a ball of messy, conflicted emotions lodged there. She was mymother, even if I hadn’t known that for most of my life. And she was a terrible person. I didn’t know what to think or feel about her in general, let alone about what Holland had just said. Like how I’d told Casteel that my good memories of Wayfair no longer felt real, the same could be said about my memories of Isbeth.
But now wasn’t the time to allow myself to get swept up in all that. Especially not when I saw that Lirian was watching me a bit too intensely.
“You still don’t realize it, do you?” he asked quietly, but I heard the strain in his voice. “What you are.”
I held his stare until Holland spoke.
