A faint tremor coursed through me—through the chamber.
“Shit,” he growled, coming to his feet. “This is why I wanted you to sit with me.”
“I’m fine,” I heard myself say.
“I don’t think you are.”
“I am.” The center of my chest throbbed. “Because I’m going to kill him.”
A surge of energy coursed down my arm, followed by a sharp crack. The delicate glass in my hand and the wine inside shattered into dust. The distinct smell of burnt ozone filled the air as I stared at my empty hand. The eather ramped up—
“Sweetheart.”
The sound of Cas’s voice immediately quelled the wave of volatile rage, easing the knot that had fisted the center of my chest. The hum of eather dissipated as my gaze lifted to him.
“That was impressive,” he remarked.
I turned my hand over, not even a single drop of wine or shard of glass to be seen. It was as if neither had existed. “More like a little scary.”
“Impressive,” he repeated, taking the hand that had just obliterated some very real objects from existence without a hint of trepidation.
Without saying a word, he returned to the chair and sat, pulling me onto his lap. Folding an arm around me, he tucked my head under his chin.
“Why?” I whispered. I hated how small my voice sounded. Loathed it. “Why did he try to take control of me?”
“I don’t know. All he said was that he wanted what was his and seems to believe you are a part of achieving that.” His chest rose with a deep breath.
“You know,” he said softly after several moments, drawing his hand up my back and under the braid, “it’s okay to not be fine.”
I squeezed my eyes shut against the sting that had now become a burn.
“I don’t think many people would be okay in your situation,” he continued, kissing the crown of my head. “I wouldn’t be.”
My lips quivered as I pressed them together.
“I wasn’t after I escaped captivity.” His fingers brushed the base of my neck. “I know what it’s like to have no autonomy.”
“This whole thing with Kolis is nothing compared to what you went through,” I told him. “I’m just being…I don’t know. Overly emotional.”
“You’re not being overly emotional, Poppy, and we’re not going to play the whose-trauma-is-more-significant game.” He gently squeezed the back of my neck. “But you’ve spent your entire life fighting against those who sought to control you in one way or another. What Kolis did?” His fingers slipped back down my spine. “Yeah, it was extreme, but it’s not the first time you’ve had to fight against someone exerting their influence over you.”
Gods, he was right.
The Priestesses. The Teermans.DukeTeerman. Alastir. Commander Jansen. My mother. Even Casteel, in the beginning.
“You can talk to me.” Cas curled his fingers around my braid. “If you need to, whenever you want.”
I pressed a kiss to his chest. “I know.”
“Do you?”
My heart stuttered at the strain in his voice—at what I thought I heard in those two words. I lifted my head to lookat him. My senses stretched out, but it felt like I was brushing against the stone wall of the Rise. He was shielding his emotions, but I heard it in his voice.
Doubt, sharp and cutting.
My stomach twisted with unease. “I do know that.” I touched his cheek. “Do you think I don’t?”
His jaw muscles flexed against my palm, and my stomach twisted even further as the seconds ticked by.
