Trying to block her out along with the simmering dread, I stare at the fountain’s elegant waterspout carving through the night. Overhead, faint tendrils dance and disappear and dance again above the arch.
I can’t stop wondering what else the prioress is capable of if she can cast that thing without warning anyone. Which, I realize, is the entire reason Elodie brought us out here to begin with.
“Breathe, Tiss.” Her words startle my attention back. She’s watching me far too closely. “In through your nose and out through your mouth. Like this.” She demonstrates.
“Iknowhow to breathe.”
She gives a slight nod, that irresistible crease pinching between her eyebrows. “I’ve been trying to tell you this is a dangerous place. I don’t want to see you hurt. Or killed. Goddess, I couldn’t bear it.” Worse than the cockiness or her emotionless mask, she seems frightened now.Sad, almost.
A strange energy hums between us. That invisible thread pulls taut again, spalling my heart and stealing my breath away. Somehow, I’m floundering in everything sheisn’tsaying.
Releasing the bench, she sits down beside me but further away. Cold rushes in with the loss of her nearness.
“You said you don’t trust me. You accused me of keeping secrets.” She glances at me. “Well. I don’t know if I can trust you either, if you want the gods’ honest truth. You have trouble regulating your emotions. Which means the feelings you fail to understand or can’t control could be used against you one day.
“It means I have noideaif you’re going to overreact and get us both in trouble if I start explaining things. Or taking you to bed. Or both.” She scrubs her hands over her face before huffing a quick, ironic laugh that turns to vapor on the air. “Doesn’t mean the desire isn’t there. In either case.”
I stare at her, as surprised by the content of her confession as by its sincerity. I wish she hadn’t said anything at all. Things are infinitely easier when she isn’t busy being ambivalent, flooding my head with forbidden ideas and my heart with dark desires.
Especially when she’s made it abundantly clear she isn’t going to let me in or take me to bedat all.
Chapter 19
Elodie
Fuck me.I really didnotmean to blurt out that last bit.
Seriously considering inserting my entire foot in my mouth, I turn back to Tiss. “This might sound strange, but I want to try something. To work on our trust.”
She crosses her arms. “I think we just established there is no trust between us.”
“Well, I’m hoping if we work together, perhaps we can start down that road.”
Waiting, she studies me expectantly.
“What if we were to agree on three signal words between us? For the sake of simplicity, let’s call them codewords.”
“Codewords,” she snorts, her cheeks going a delectable shade of pink unrelated to the cold. “Like a sex thing?”
“Not—”
“Are you going to tie me up and beat me, priestess?” She gives a bratty little head toss. “Is that what’s going to fix our trust issues?”
Don’t tempt me. Desire surges beneath my skin. A restless agitation I’m afraid to examine too closely rises beside it. “Listen. They’re useful because we can make them innocent enough to slip into casual conversation. In public, if necessary. Either of us can use them at any time.”
Her energy falls still. Something ambiguous flashes in her eyes. “Go on.”
“‘Blue’ means you’re clear to go. Whatever somebody’s doing, it’s smooth sailing ahead. ‘Purple’ means you’re skirting close to a line and need to back off or slow down. ‘Red’ means a line has been crossed. Whoever crossed it needs to stop—immediately. Of course, I’m using ‘you’ in the general sense. You’re encouraged to use them too.”
A jolt of excitement travels up our tie. It comes on so strong, my hand hits the bench. I need to hook my fingers under the front edge to anchor myself in place.
“I see.” A smile tugs at her mouth. Like she’s enjoying a private victory of some sort.
“I need to make sure you understand,” I press on. “If one of us calls red, it may as well be a matter of life and death. Think of it like the red berries on the yew tree. It’s that serious.”
She nods. “Blue, purple, red. That all sounds reasonable, if that’s what you need.” She sighs, her breath rising in clouds between us. “But if you want me to trustyou, I need boundaries of my own. I don’t want you touching me whenever you feel like it. You do it often and it’s… it’sdifficultt-to—”
“Done. And you don’t need to explain yourself, just so you know. Although if you want to, I’m happy to hear you out.”
