Studying me with one black eye, her chatteringkakbecomes shriller and louder with each passing second, raising the hair on my arms. Then her cries stop.
From somewhere nearby, a neighbor’s dog barks, excited by her screeches.
We stay put, studying each other. She isn’t frightened or combative. Instead, she just stands there. Not preening. No prey at her feet. She doesn’t appear to be injured.
Only staring me down.
Understanding slowly dawns that the warning is meantforme, not against me. “You’re not trying to chase me off, are you?”
As if in confirmation, she starts upkakkingagain, louder and sharper than before. One black eye still trained on me.
I watch the skies. Scan the ledges where she and her mate like to perch.
“You’re all alone.” I say, through her cries. “Where is he?”
The racket stops at once. The neighbor’s dog is still complaining. Barking echoes between houses, coming from a few streets over.
“Oh, no.” A thread of horror runs through me, splintering my heart. “Is he hurt?”
She stares in silence a few moments longer before spreading her powerful wings. Climbing into the overcast sky.
I spend the rest of the morning scouring my neighborhood. Searching for her missing mate. Hoping against hope that he’s only injured somewhere.
Ultimately I fail to find him and never complete my errand. I don’t understand her message until the next morning.
Rìasday, the 13th of Emberglow
8 Days Ago
The first sight that greets me when I open my balcony doors is the chorus of birdsong. Blinking in sleepy disbelief, all I can do is stare at the small flock of finches lined up politely along my balcony railing.
“That’s new,” I mutter. Seeing as the goddess doesn’t seem to be granting me any insight into this phenomenon, I really can’t help but wonder—
Is this… a good omen? Or a bad one?
Nighttime is my favorite time at the temple. With the likes of Deirdre and her gaggle of fawning nuns cloistered safely away, I’m free to roam where I want. Dress how I want. Let my guard down, at least a little.Now there’s a thought.
Except I can’t—not tonight.
Things were fine before. And if not fine, then tolerable. I’ve been careful these last four years. Deliberate and meticulous. Guarding my every thought and action and protecting my secrets. Even from Maida.
But I was doingjust fine.
Ever sincesheshowed up with her perfect rosebud mouth and unhinged demands, everything’s gone sideways. It’s been three days, and nothing makes sense anymore.
I’m suddenly more exposed than ever and more deeply conflicted than I ought to be. Her presence puts everything at risk. She endangers us both, and sheknowsit.
Well. She did.
Now all my discipline might come to nothing thanks to the whims of a woman I don’t fucking know. Outside of the fact that she’s selfish. Reckless. Thoughtless.
Incredibly fucking gorgeous.
“Fuck,” I mumble to myself, cutting around the corner of the residence. Stepping onto the lawn. I duck under empty laundry lines and take the garden path around the greenhouses. The bottle is heavy in my interior cloak pocket.
“Keep me safe.”
Her desperate words, jewel-blue eyes brimming with tears, have been running through my head endlessly.
