My unfastened cloak is torn from me and hurled aside while I force myself to stay down. Force myself to ignore the fact that I feel both grounded and like I’m rising. Floating up and out of my body again as the air shimmers around me and through me.
The monster doesn’t stir behind my ribs this time. It doesn’t live there anymore. Really, there’s no monster at all, and there never was.
The only beast that’s ever been inside of me ismyself. I am a creature of chaos and magic, shaped by the Mother of Destruction and Regeneration herself. Iampower.
A destructive force to be reckoned with.
At the moment, I have no choice but to feign weakness in spite of the irresistible urge to maim coursing through me. Somehow, I will my physical body to stay down while the rest of me hovers near the ceiling. I watch as Ailen closes in.
The bitch winds her fist in my hair. I hear myself cry out, feel hot and cold flash through my body, but it's at a distance.
Don’t fight her; don’t resist. You’ll only make it worse.Although my knee and shoulder are healing now too, the phenomenon is far from instantaneous. All I can do is watch while Ailen drags me the rest of the way into the hallway. But I mustn’t fight back. Iwon’t.
If she discovers what I am, it won’t be long before they trace things back to Elodie.
Instead, my physical body draws deep, slow breaths, going deliberately limp. I allow myself to be dragged like a broken doll.
Landing in a bruised heap, I’m acutely aware of Kiera’s terrified sobs. The door slams so hard it rattles my bones. Ailen looms over me.
“I’m sorry,” I whimper when I ought to rip her apart.
Putting my hands up, I’m every bit the beaten, cowering dog, and I hate it. I hate this deranged cunt as much as I hate Kerrigan and the imperious prioress whose orders they enforce. The fact that Deirdre herself is only doing the Five’s bidding because it’s preferable to the alternative.
I despise everything about this place and abhor the fact that I brought myself here.
“I’m sorry,” I say again. My whisper sounds pathetic.Breathe, Tiss. Breathe.Meanwhile, the absolute, undistilled force of the Dead God flows through me.
Waiting for the next blow, I wrestle against every deadly, murderous impulse screaming through my bones.
“Such a pretty face,” Ailen finally mutters, puffing for breath and towering over me. Leaning on her cane. “Next time I catch you out of bounds like that, I won’t hesitate to break it.”
Finished meting out her twisted justice, she leaves me crumpled on the floor, covered in blood, filled with unrealized vengeance, and slowly, gradually healing.
Chapter 53
El
Maida skims the ink-smudged sheet lying beside her on the settee, knitting needles at a standstill. “So Tiss’s father—the man who raised her—is thePatriarchof Clan Jedrek.”
“Second-in-command under the druKing,” I confirm, gesturing with my fork between bites of chicken, wild rice, and winter squash.
We’re in Maida’s rooms again. The sunset pours gold and orange through her balcony doors while I finish my dinner at her table. “It’s known around Aronya Dar that Lady Jedrek, Tiss’s mother, left a month after her daughter was born. To the day.”
“Oh?” My friend resumes her knitting.
“It was the same day Tiss was officially betrothed to the four-year-old son of Clan Madoc.”
“Illiam,” nods Maida.
“Right. When the elder Lady Jedrek vanished, most believed she abandoned her husband and infant daughter. Which is what it looked like, of course. Rumor had it her family’s clan is in the Boglands, so that’s where everyone assumed she went. Of course, there were a few who speculated Bard Fiach had her killed.”
“And now you’re starting to see these ‘rumors’ in a new light, I take it?”
“You could say that, yeah.” Truth is, I don’t knowwhatto think—other than Lydia and I need to finish our conversation as soon as possible. And Tiss and I most certainly need to have a conversation in light of this wholestarving demuns go madrevelation. Just as soon as she finishes her chores, I’ll go talk to her.
Well. Convince her to talk tome.
Across the room, Bibi snaps her greedy beak. Her eyes focus possessively on my half-finished dinner. I take another bite, ignoring her sharp stares.
