I opened my mouth, but the words hesitated on my tongue. Would it be the worst thing? I didn’t want to answer that, not yet. Charick was certainly growing on me. I liked him… I liked him a lot. But fated mates brought together by some alien goddess. That was a little too much for me. Love wasn’t supposed to be that easy… at least not in my experience. Love and devotion were the gifts one got from putting in time and attention to create a lasting relationship. At least, that’s how it had been with my husband... and even then, our marriage had been far from perfect.
“You know I was married… mated on Earth?” I reminded Adtovar, although I doubted he’d forgotten.
“Your husband is gone, is he not?” His voice held a reminder of its own.
“That doesn’t mean I can just forget about him.” I knew some women found it easy to move on. Not me. I’d never really looked at another man after Mark died. Until now.
“It is impossible to forget,” Adtovar agreed, his face contorted with a flicker of sadness. “But I cannot believe that any male who loved you would begrudge your happiness. It’s what I would have wished for my wife and daughter had I been the one to die in their stead.”
I reached across the table and laid my hand on his forearm. “You loved them very much, didn’t you?” I knew Adtovar had lost his family, but not the details. It was something he didn’t talk about.
Pale blue eyes focused on where I touched him, followed by a heavy sigh. “It was a long time ago. I was young, just out of warrior academy, and newly mated with a babe. The Romvesian-Vaktaire skirmish had ended, but there were still raids on Aljani protectorates. I left my mate and daughter to fight as I considered it my duty. While I was gone, they caught a fever sickness and died. I couldn’t return to Ajaxiun after that…I couldn’t bring myself to linger alone in the place we’d lived together.”
“Is that why you became a gladiator?”
His eyes met mine, holding such recrimination I nearly flinched.
“Yes. I wanted to punish myself for leaving them, for not being there when they needed me most. I’d been captured by the Ulkommanian during one of the raids and turned into an augment, which made me perfect for the arena.”
“What does that mean?” Visually, Adtovar was taller, broader, and more muscular than any of the other Aljani guards. I feared it was more than that.
“I assume you’ve noticed that I’m bigger than the other Aljani?” Adtovar smirked, noticing the trajectory of my gaze.
I nodded.
He sighed, letting the tip of his utensil push around something green that perhaps was supposed to be a vegetable but smelled like cow shit.
“The Ulkommanian spliced my DNA with other warrior species… it made me bigger, faster, stronger with better senses and faster reflexes. Once I survived the augment process, they sold me to a fight promoter.”
“I’m so sorry Adtovar.”
He sighed again, not so heavy this time, and pushed away the grief of the moment with a wave of his hand. “Perhaps fate and the goddess had something in mind when setting me along that path. Just as they do you.”
“What do you mean?” I settled back in my chair, crossing my arms over my chest. It was a defensive position, to be sure—I didn’t care.
Adtovar cleaned his plate in one final bite, then leaned back in his chair, mimicking my posture. The wood gave a faint groan in response.
“You told me you were older before your abduction and that the Trogvyk put you through a Garoot healing machine that gave you back your youth.”
“Yeah, so?” I tried to appear nonchalant, but I’d never forget the moment I saw Emmy forty years younger and realized she looked at me with the same shocked expression.
“You know Alliance law doesn’t allow humans that have been through the Garoot Healer to return to Earth.”
I rolled my eyes. I knew this. Nansar told me repeatedly during our travels. Besides that, how the hell would I explain being forty years younger? More than that, who would I explain it to? All my friends, everybody I loved had been abducted with me.
“Perhaps you should embrace the gift of your restored youth and take it as a second chance to find a life… and happiness among the stars.”
I ignored the tingle his words sent skittering along my nerve endings.
“Maybe.” I agreed. Truthfully, I hadn’t thought much about what would happen once I reunited with my friends. None of us could go home again. And if what Charick said was true and my friends had mated to his Vaktaire buddies, why would they want to?
“Charick is a good male. And despite your claims to the contrary, I know you are fond of him,” Adtovar said as if in answer to my unspoken question.
“Quit playing matchmaker,” I scolded, drawing a smile from him, but I didn’t refute his claim. I couldn’t.
Adtovar was right. I had grown fond of Charick. The question was, what exactly did that mean, and what was I going to do about it.
Chapter 9 - Willa
