‘I travelled out to Belgium as soon as I realised that my cousin John had signed up upon some foolish patriotic impulse. He was no kind of soldier, he was just an impulsive boy. I was there for his death, though not in time to see my brother alive again. It was… a difficult period for all of us.’
She reached out instinctively to him, and he took her cold hand in his. ‘I am afraid there is more, and when I have told you all perhaps you will understand why I have waited until now to marry. The Richmonds brought Isabella back to Yorkshire at last, with my assistance. They thought it best they take her home to Harrogate – the Castle was full of painful recollections, and my presence was in no sense a help.’
‘Do you resemble your brother so much?’
‘I did not think so, in all truth, but we were close enough in age, he was just two years younger, and certainly the similarity was enough to cause her distress, as you saw for yourself today. I suppose it is that, and also perhaps the fact that a worthless fellow like me is still alive – is married, now – while poor Ashis dead and in his grave. But in any case, after a few weeks had gone by Mrs Richmond wrote to me and told me that Isabella was with child.Saidshe was with child, perhaps I should say, for that is how her mother put it.
‘I think you must be able to divine the confusion of my feelings. We were all happy for her, and hoped that the news would give her reason to live, and time to rebuild her shattered life and look to the future once more. And for our part… Not just the possibility of an heir when we had thought that chance entirely gone – that was a great deal in itself – but that something of my brother should survive. To see a child of his growing up and taking his place as my heir… Of course I was uneasy, we all were: Isabella had been very ill, and to think that everything should rest on such a fragile hope. It was almost a form of torture as the months passed, I found…’ He trailed off, and passed his hand over his face.
‘She lost the child?’
‘I am not sure there ever really was a child. Her mother certainly believes that there was not. She began to suspect as much as time passed, and around Christmastime at last she felt obliged to speak to Isabella on the subject, despite her natural reluctance to do so. Mrs Richmond meant well, and I do not see what else she could have done in the circumstances. She felt that her daughter could not be allowed to live in delusion indefinitely, that it was unhealthy to allow it to continue. The result of her intervention, though, was that Isabella collapsed entirely, and for a long time her reason and even her life were despaired of. She has been under the care of a medical gentleman here in York for several months; they make a speciality of such afflictions here, using the most modern and humane methods. I would have gone to visit her, as would Blanche, but it was thought best by her physician that we did not do so, as it might give her pain. She has been better lately, wewere told, and evidently now has been discharged from medical supervision. I cannot think that her parents brought her by the house against her will, for they have always been most careful of her wellbeing. I can only imagine that she must have expressed a wish to visit us, or just to see the place where she stayed with Ash on her honeymoon. Perhaps they thought it progress, and were glad of it.’ He smiled bleakly. ‘It did not look like progress to me; did it to you?’
‘No,’ she said quietly.
‘I am sorry,’ he said at last, ‘that you were subjected to such an encounter on your wedding day. I wish I could have spared you that.’
‘It’s not your fault,’ she answered with conviction. ‘Poor lady, her poor family. It was just an unfortunate coincidence that they should be passing at that moment among all others. How could you predict it?’
‘I wrote to them,’ he said. ‘I did so as soon as we arrived here. I thought they should know I was to be married, rather than hear it from strangers, when if things had turned out otherwise their daughter might have been Duchess of Northriding one day. I owed them that. It has always preyed on my mind: the fact that news of my marriage could not be kept from her for ever, and would undoubtedly cause her distress. It is one reason among many that I delayed seeking a bride till now. Perhaps you can understand why I did not have the heart for any of it for a long time, though I knew in the end I must do so. It was not by any means an easy letter to write to her parents, though I knew that they at least would understand my situation. But I directed the letter to their home in Harrogate; I did not know they were here.’
‘How could you?’
‘I suppose you’re right. But I should have told you of Isabella’s existence before. The shock to you would not then have been so great.’
‘I do not suppose the whole tragic tale is something you enjoy recalling.’
‘It is not.’ He smiled a little more naturally this time. ‘Thank you for listening and uttering no reproaches. Enough of such sadness, on this day of all days. What would you like to do now, my dear? I am entirely at your disposal.’
She rose, and he rose with her. ‘I think we should go to bed,’ she said.
32
Amusement, surprise, and something else warred within his eyes. ‘Well,’ he said, ‘I see you mean to be a bold sort of a duchess from the outset. I own I had not expected it, but I am not in the least displeased, Georgiana, I assure you. On the contrary!’
‘I think you know perfectly well that that is not what I mean,’ she replied, flushing. ‘You look exhausted; I too am tired. It has been a hectic few days, with this latest shock on top of all the rest. We do not dine and make our celebration till later, and I think we should take the opportunity to rest now, and recover our composure.’
‘I must tell you,’ he murmured, ‘that although you obviously think me a poor creature, I am not yet in the habit of taking to my bed in the middle of the day for such a reason.’
‘Maybe you should be. At your advanced age…’
She meant to shock him, to tease the set look from his face, and it seemed she had succeeded. He laughed, and took her loosely in his arms, resting his forehead on hers. ‘I can think of many responses to that pert remark, and none of them in the least conducive to – what was it you said? – recovering our composure. But with great age comes patience, or so I am told.I will willingly go to bed and rest, my dear, if you will come with me. I will ask no more of you just now than the comfort of your embrace.’
His words, and the warmth in his eyes, brought a lump to her throat, and she could do nothing but nod, and climb the stairs with him to his oak-panelled bedchamber. They could comfort each other, she thought. He seemed to need her, at least in this moment, as much as she needed him, and surely that must be a good sign?
It was not as though they had not lain on a bed together before. They had done all sorts of things under cover of darkness, after all. But somehow to go openly together to the suite of rooms they now would share, to take off her shoes and lie down with him on his big four-poster in broad daylight, felt different. Felt serious. Everyone in the house would likely know where they were, from Lady Blanche and Louisa to the servants, and would make understandable assumptions about what they were doing. They were very thoroughly married, and all the world knew it. There was nothing secret, nothing illicit in their union – quite the reverse. They were supposed to be making an heir. Duty demanded that they do so, and as soon as possible. But when she gave herself to him at last, she knew it would not be with any thought of duty.
She had a coronet of damp white roses and a precious Point de Malines lace veil on her head, and plainly it would be ridiculous as well as uncomfortable to lie down in such a thing; Gabriel explored with gentle fingers, found the pins that held the whole confection in place and pulled them loose, then carefully lifted it away and set it down upon a side table. ‘There,’ he said. ‘Perhaps you will feel more like yourself without it.’
‘I don’t know that I will. Maybe I never will. I am a duchess now, apparently.’
‘You are. My duchess. But you are still Georgie.’ He saw the doubt and confusion on her face and said, ‘You’re weary too. Come and lie down, and perhaps sleep a little. I think we both need it.’
The Duke shrugged off his corbeau coat and tugged ruthlessly on his cravat, then tossed both aside on a chair. ‘Let me unfasten your gown for you, or you will crease it horribly.’ He was right, of course, and she stood as his patient fingers worked at the tiny silk-covered buttons that ran down her back. When he had finished, he stepped aside; he did not further help her to put off her gown, nor make any comment as she did so, and she was glad of it, conscious of an almost overpowering sense of shyness that, God knows, she had never felt in his presence before and had not looked to feel now.
Slipping off his shoes, he pulled the velvet coverlet and linen sheet back and lay down. Before she allowed herself to think about it too much, she crossed to the bed, and climbed onto it to lie rather stiffly at his side. He put his arm about her, and she settled her head on his chest. This was new. Under the silver-embroidered wedding waistcoat and the thin lawn shirt, she could feel his heart beating steadily. Somehow it, and the warmth of his body, calmed her. She sighed unconsciously, and snuggled closer. His hand came up, almost hesitantly, and stroked her disordered curls with great and unexpected gentleness. ‘You were right, Georgie,’ he said softly. ‘I did not know it, but this is exactly what I need. Thank you! Now let us try to sleep if we can.’
Georgie had imagined she could not possibly relax into slumber; her mental state was agitated, confused, and the Duke’s arms, holding her with no trace of amorous intent, unfamiliar. She had never been held in just this way before. There was nothing in the least lascivious in the way he embraced her, but his nearness, the masculine scent of him, the weight ofhis big hand on her head, were all subtly disturbing as well as comforting. It was an extraordinary combination.
