‘But…’
Alice had the bit between her teeth now, and was not to be cut off or diverted. ‘And what’s more,’ she said, eyes sparkling, ‘Mama and Papa could not possibly blame me if it turned out that Northriding preferredyou. Because you are an earl’s daughter, and it is entirely natural that he should choose to marry one of his own rank, or nearly so. That is why horrid Mary Debenham was so catty to you before: because she thought that the Duke was bound to choose you over the rest of us. Indeed,’ she said naïvely, ‘I wonder that he has not. But I suppose you are not here for that purpose, after all, but as a friend of the family. I expect that accounts for it.’
‘Alice,’ said Georgiana, conscious of a bubble of wild laughter rising within her, clamouring for release, ‘are you truly asking me to marry the Duke to save you from that fate?’
‘Yes! I only wonder I had not thought of it before. Oh. Oh dear. I suppose it really is a great deal to ask of a friend, is it not?’ Her face fell in a comical fashion, and Georgie was obliged to bite her lip quite hard to prevent mirth from overwhelming her. ‘I’m sorry. I cannot expect you to do such a thing. I had not thought… But now I realise I was being foolish.’
‘Not foolish, Alice, but… it is, as you say, a great deal to ask of me. I would help you if I could, if I could only think of a way, but…’
Miss Templeton pressed her hand fervently. ‘I know you would! You are the best of friends. But I understand that if you agreed to take him instead you would then have in the end toactually marry him, to be alone with him, and… and allow him all the liberties that a gentleman must…’
‘Yes,’ said Georgie in hollow tones. ‘Those.’
‘I am sure you would mind all that every bit as much as I would. How could you not? I cannot ask you to sacrifice yourself to save me. To submit to… that. No,’ she said with a dolefully little sniff. ‘I see now that it was selfish of me, and I must endure it. Do not regard anything I have said, I beg you. And perhaps it will not be so very bad, after all. When I tried to tell Mama of my fears, she said that I was a silly girl and that I would learn to accustom myself to that aspect of life, as every married woman must. She said she counts linens – in her head, naturally, not out loud, which I expect a gentleman might not like, after all. And while I know she was trying to be helpful, probably, I must admit that is a thing I am sure I would have preferred never to know. But there is always death in childbed, I suppose. Even Mama,’ she said with a spark of spirit, ‘could not blame me for that, and if she did, I would not be here to see it! That is a consolation.’
‘Is it?’ said Georgiana wildly. She simply could not bring herself to discuss such intimate matters with Alice, nor to suggest to her that it was at least possible she might find pleasure in the Duke’s embraces. It was not her place to offer consolation, and the reply that occurred to her – that the Duke was reputed to be a man of great experience, who might well know how best to set his nervous bride at her ease – was not something she felt any desire at all to put into words. Indeed, she wished she had not so much as thought of it. All this strayed, she felt, far too close to most dangerous territory. She also detected in herself a new and alarming tendency to feel slightly sorry for Northriding, faced with the prospect of a wife who shrank in horror even from the contemplation of being alone with him, quite apart from… No. That train of thought must cease.
‘Will you forgive me, Georgiana?’ said Alice now, her small chin wobbling a little. ‘You are a true friend, I know, but I cannot ask so much even of you. I hope you will stand by my side, and be my bridesmaid, though, if I am permitted to choose one and do not have some grand lady whom I do not know forced on me. That way at least I will have one kind face beside me in my time of trial. And when I am dead, which I suppose will not be very long, if I’m lucky, perhaps you will have a care for my poor motherless child, left alone with his cold, unloving father – and his savage companions – in this bleak wilderness!’ She gestured dramatically at Yorkshire once again, and Georgie was obliged to stifle the urge to applaud and cry, Brava! Her friend’s soft brown eyes were overflowing with tears now at the deeply affecting picture she had painted of her brief but tragic future.
‘Have you been reading Mrs Radcliffe again, Alice? I believe you must have been, and it has lodged Gothic ideas in your brain. Do try not to dwell on them. I cannot think the Duke so very bad, or your prospects so very dark, you know.’ Georgie scarcely knew what to say, and did not think that Alice would appreciate being laughed at. Who did?
‘No!’ said Alice nobly, her head held high. ‘You are very kind, but do not attempt to comfort me. There is no comfort to be had. My fate is sealed, I know. I will go back inside and reconcile myself with it. There is no use repining for a life fated to be cut cruelly short!’ And on this excellent curtain line – not easy to say, either – she left, her bearing and gait very much those of a queen tragically and unjustly condemned to the scaffold, but resolved to meet her untimely death with courage.
Georgie remained outside, having no taste for the role of chief lady-in-waiting to Lady Jane Grey, and succumbed to the slightly hysterical laughter that she had been holding at bay for the last few moments, but when her mirth subsided she began to feel ashamed. She might think Alice’s fears ridiculouslymelodramatic and overwrought, but it was still true that her friend dreaded the future that had been laid out for her without any regard for her own wishes, and shrank from this marriage with repugnance, hard though it was for Georgie to understand this.
Alice’s case was very different from her own, and it would be unjust to fail to recognise it.Shewas fortunate indeed to be surrounded by close relatives, male and female, who would never think to force her into a match she did not want, however advantageous it might appear in the eyes of the world. Last year when she had made her come-out and gentlemen had flocked to offer for her hand, her brother had consulted her as to her preferences in the matter, and listened to what she had said, even though her choice was one he could not approve. When she had entangled herself with Captain Hart… but this was old ground, and there was no profit in going over it again and flagellating herself anew. She was aware – and her recent resolution to be entirely and painfully honest with herself obliged her to confront the thought – that Alice had just offered her an excellent excuse to change her mind and accept the Duke after all, should she want it. Should she want it…
But if she seized the chance, by the same token she must not deceive herself into thinking that she was being noble. She had read the same novels Alice had, but if she chose to become Duchess of Northriding she would be doing it because she wanted to, and not in order to save her friend from the Gothic fate she had so feelingly described. And all the powerful reasons not to marry him that had seemed so clear to her last night still held. She might not be frightened of the Duke as Alice was, the idea of physical intimacy with him was a temptation rather than a terror to her, but the vision of the woman she might become if she accepted him must prevent her at last from making such a choice.
She sighed, and arranged her face, and went inside.
20
The next day, the day of the ball, was enlivened by the general air of expectation that pervaded the Castle. Amongst all the bustle of final preparation, Georgie hoped that her own uncertain mood might go unnoticed – as, indeed, might the air of saintly resignation that Alice had assumed. This hope was encouraged by the fact that the party from Castle Howard arrived that afternoon, along with some other slightly less distinguished guests who were also to stay overnight because they lived too far from Northriding Castle to travel home afterwards, even by moonlight. The Duke’s wooing must be suspended while he received his guests and entertained them, and this gave both ladies a respite, for very different reasons. But Georgie was sure that Miss Templeton and her mother were right in thinking that the ball itself might prove to be the perfect setting for a formal proposal of marriage. If it were successful, as it surely would be despite the feelings of the prospective bride, it would be followed by an announcement, and then by general congratulations and celebrations; what better occasion could be found?
And I am to be bridesmaid, thought Georgie. Good God, was there ever anything so preposterous? I would not believeit if I saw it in a play. I am to stand and watch a terrified, reluctant, coerced girl marry a rake who thinks she is a dead bore, a rake who came to my bedchamber in secret two nights since, proposing marriage tome, undoing the buttons on my nightgown and kissing his way…
It was a relief to her when she was obliged to push aside such perilous thoughts and pay heed to Lady Georgiana Morpeth, chief lady of the Howard party. That amiable lady was all affectionate attention to her late mother’s godchild, and full of questions about the health and situation of her brother Hal, her sister-in-law and all her other siblings. There were, of course, numerous enquiries to be made in return, about that lady’s interesting children (she was, she confided, increasing again), and her dear sister Harriet and her baby son. Georgie remembered Alice’s piteous claim that it was impossible to keep all these noble, inter-related ladies separate in one’s head, and smiled a little to herself, as she listened with half an ear to some tale of the doings of Staffords she barely knew, and with the ease of long practice made exclamations in all the correct places. By the time she went to change into her masquerade finery, she had the headache.
When she emerged from her bedchamber to join Louisa and Miss Spry, the expression on her aunt’s face suggested that she too was feeling some pain. ‘Good heavens, Georgie,’ she said, surveying her. ‘I had not thought you so…’
‘So…?’ enquired Jane with a grin.
‘So… eighteenth-century!’ said Louisa with an expressive gesture of her quizzing glass.
‘It’s the dress,’ said Georgiana helplessly. ‘It was a little too small for me, I fear, and it had to be laced tightly in order to fit.’
‘We heard the screams.’
‘I did not scream, Louisa! I may have cried out, perhaps. I am not accustomed to such corsetry. But I am in it now…’
‘More or less,’ said Jane drily.
‘I am in it, and it is too late to wear anything else. If I am to go to the ball, it must be this.’
‘I do not say it is not becoming,’ her aunt sighed. ‘It may in point of fact be too becoming for my peace of mind as your aunt and chaperon. And I suppose if you are to dance in such a full skirt and high heels, to neither of which you are accustomed, it is just as well that it is a little too short. You certainly will not catch your heels and trip. And your maid has done very well with the arrangement of your hair; it looks perfectly natural. But I am excessively glad that Hal is not here to see you in such a low-cut gown; I am sure he would blame me, and most unjustly, for I had no idea…’
Jane said, her voice unsteady, ‘The heels do make you quite tall, Georgie. I think you should be careful in your dancing partners, and make sure, if any particularly short gentleman should ask to take you onto the floor, to sit out that set, or you will look like a satirical print by Gillray.’
