‘She has come to realise that I will never be happy until I at least make this attempt. She supports me, and I will always be grateful to her for it, since she has no great longing for a child herself and so cannot truly enter into my feelings. But it is a great step to take, is it not? To disrupt our peaceful, ordered life together, that is one thing, and quite serious enough. But to put myself, even nominally, in the power of a man, to make myself his chattel in the eyes of the world, that is what I struggle with – not the rest of it, though you may find that hard to believe. I balk at that part, the legalities, the conventionalities, the involvement of the Church, even though he is a good man, and I trust him.’
‘Is there no other way?’
‘There you hit the bull’s-eye. Obviously there is. I could conceive a child with him without marriage, and refuse to submit myself even to notional masculine authority. Others have done so, after all: my mother’s friend Mrs Godwin was one, when she gave birth to her first daughter. And I applaud her courage. But it turns out, despite all my fine words, that I am not brave enough. That is what it comes to, though I can give excuses aplenty. Louisa urges me to think of the child, growing up in this society as a nameless bastard, made that way entirely by her mother’s choice. And she is so far right in that I find I cannot do it.’
‘I suppose… No, I do understand. And I cannot criticise you. You know what you want – I wish I were so sure.’
‘You do not blame me, then, for contemplating taking a man I do not love to my bed with the set purpose of conceiving a child?’
Georgie laughed. It was exhilarating somehow to talk so honestly, and so very rare. ‘How can I blame you or judge you? I of all people can hardly be so hypocritical as to censure anyone else’s behaviour, in the bedroom or out of it. I who let – no, who begged a stranger to give me pleasure. And it is quite the done thing in society, what you propose, is it not, though it is never talked of in such a way?’ She gestured back towards the Castle. ‘Those women up there, is that not precisely what they hope to do? And not because they so badly want a child, either, but for much more worldly considerations, at least for many of them. And the Duke – have you not given an exact description of why he has summoned them all here? To marry one of them, a virtual stranger as she must be, without love, without even the trust and respect and honesty that you have with your friend, for the purposes of going to bed and getting an heir? And this is fully understood and sanctioned by society, is done every day, and nobody has the least issue with it.’
‘That’s perfectly true, of course. It is all a matter of conventional morality. But where does that leave you? You already know, if I understand you correctly, that you and the Duke are… physically compatible. You are attracted to him, and he to you, that was quite plain to me, at least, before ever you told me your secret. You could marry him on that basis, on the basis of powerful mutual desire, and though it may not be much to build a life on, it is still more than many men and women can be sure of as they enter matrimony. Might that not be enough for you? And if not, why not?’
‘I cannot assume that he wants to marry me above all the others, Jane.’
‘Never mind what he wants. I am sure he will make it clear; he does not strike me as a diffident sort of a man. What doyouwant?’
‘I suppose that is the question, is it not?’
14
The tide was turning, and Miss Spry and Lady Georgiana made their way back to the cave, increasing their pace as little waves with white edges began nipping at the soles of their boots. They found Charles the footman sitting snugly in an alcove on the landing, warming himself at a brazier set in the rock. When he saw them approach, he doused it, and they followed his lantern slowly up the steep, winding staircase to the inhabited parts of the Castle. By the time they had climbed the further sets of stairs that led to their private tower, they were both out of breath and weary, glad to part to their respective chambers so that they might rest a little before they must change for nuncheon.
The entire company was there, the ladies exclaiming over the beauty of their ride earlier that morning. It was clear that Miss Debenham, a fine, showy horsewoman, considered that she had restored herself in the Duke’s good graces, and scored a point over all the others. ‘She took up a position at his side,’ said Alice Templeton in low tones to Georgie, ‘and refused to budge or allow him to converse with anyone else. And look at her crowing now, in the most displeasant manner imaginable. She truly is an odious creature!’
Georgiana turned to her friend and regarded her with interest. She had been so preoccupied the previous day with her own secret that she had not thought to wonder what Alice’s feelings might be about the situation in which she found herself. Had she come here willingly – did she actually wish to be chosen by this man she hardly knew? Or had she been brought here at her mama’s behest, indifferent or perhaps even reluctant? No one else was near; they could perhaps converse a little if they were discreet. ‘Alice,’ she said quietly, ‘do youwantto marry the Duke? I have not had a chance to ask you. But of course I know…’
‘Why we are all here in this horridly undignified way?’ whispered Alice with a conscious look and a blush, pushing the food around her plate with a small silver fork.
‘I did not say…’
‘You did not need to. I knowyouare not here for that purpose, but the rest of us plainly are.’
‘And?’
‘And… I don’t know, Georgie. I admit I would enjoy putting Mary Debenham’s nose out of joint, but I can quite see that that isn’t a terribly good reason to marry someone.’
Georgie smothered a laugh. ‘Oh, it may not be noble, but it is understandable!’
Alice grinned in response. ‘No, it isn’t, not really. But my portion is not large, you know, and I expect I must marry somebody. Mama says I must. At least he’s not old, with hairy ears. I suppose, too, it would be a fine thing to be a duchess; that’s what my mama thinks, anyway. And not to have to live with my mama any more, that is quite an attractive thought. But I don’t think I’d like to be obliged to marry him. My mama can marry him, if she likes him so much. He scares me a little, Georgie.’
‘Scares you?’ Georgiana could not understand how it could be so; she had her own reasons to distrust Northriding, ofcourse, but Alice could not know of them. And it was not as though she feared he would do her harm… or not precisely.
‘Yes. He doesn’t speak to me or even look at me very often, but when he does, I don’t like it. Those eyes… And of course he has a terrible reputation, that’s what everybody says, though nobody seems to want to tell me exactly what he does. I expect he is a wicked seducer, or something of that nature, and ruins ladies by the dozen. I wonder they should care for it; I’m sure I wouldn’t. But I am glad to say that he shows no interest in me, or very little. There’s no sign at all of his even contemplating seducingmeeven slightly, thank heaven. Because if he did seem as though he might want to ask for my hand, I’m sure Mama would make me marry him, even if I begged her not to. But hush! He is observing us! Talk of something else.’
Georgie too was conscious of those ironical silver eyes upon her, and they fell to talking of indifferent matters until the nuncheon was over. It had come on to rain hard by then, and the carriage excursion that had been planned for the afternoon had perforce to be called off.
Most of the party drifted into the library, and disposed themselves about it, listlessly leafing through books and periodicals, or frankly settling into one or other of the comfortably battered leather armchairs and closing their eyes in slumber. Lord Debenham was soon snoring by the fireside, and the noise was neither musical nor conducive to concentration on reading. Georgiana was restless, and wandered to the far end of the room, where she settled herself in a cushioned window seat that was built into one of the turrets with which the Castle abounded. Because of the curvature of the walls, she could not be seen, she realised, by any of the other occupants of the larger room, and so she set aside the book that she had picked up in a pretence of interest, and gazed out across the rain-lashedlandscape. She could not see the sea from this side of the Castle, but she thought she could hear it.
A moment later she was surprised to find that she was no longer alone – one of the Duke’s dogs had followed her silently, and when she smiled to see him he laid his great shaggy head on her lap, and looked up at her meltingly with appealing brown eyes, visibly begging her to stroke him as though he were the littlest pup and not a creature the size of her first pony. Her father had had dogs just like this when she was small, she recalled. She petted both enormous ears at once and he closed his eyes in bliss, and nuzzled at her, as if to say, That is quite pleasant, thank you, madam – I beg you, do not stop. The motion soothed her too, she found, and so she continued, to the satisfaction of them both.
‘In a brown study, Lady Georgiana?’ said a silky voice behind her. The big dog stirred at his master’s voice, and wagged his long tail lazily, but did not move away from her.
She had indeed been so lost in thought that she gasped and started; she had thought herself alone save for her canine companion. ‘Do you never enter a room like a normal person?’ she hissed, aware that although they could not be seen, they could surely be heard if they spoke loudly.
‘Almost never,’ said the Duke amiably, seating himself beside her and making himself at ease. The turret, which had seemed a cosy refuge a moment ago, now appeared all too small and intimate to Georgie. The only previous occasions on which they had been in such close physical proximity had ended disastrously for her, she was all too well aware. But surely here, with the rest of the house party a bare few yards away, able to hear everything, able to see everything that occurred if they but rose to their feet and walked across the library, he would not…
He could see alarm on her face, as his words made clear. ‘I refuse to believe that you – unlike that little mouse of a friendof yours – are nervous of me,’ he purred. ‘Admitting always my reputation, and the fact that Tam is hardly an adequate chaperon – are you, boy? – what could I do to you here? Once again, and most tediously, you have only to make some loud noise and half the damsels and mamas of England will run to your rescue.’
