I’ve been busy and no, I’m not moving back.
Daddy
I’ll fly out to L.A. for us to talk.
I rolled my eyes because I knew better than to believe his statement. He was coming to scout things for himself.
Me
No. We are not there yet.
Daddy
You are my daughter.
Me
Yes, and you lied to me.
My phone flashed with his name on my screen, but I muted it.
Me
Text first. We will work our way up to phone calls.
Instead of answering the text, he called yet again. This go around our relationship would be on my terms.
Me
Daddy, I will block you. We text first.
It took him five minutes to respond to my message. Learning the street Pastor and my father were the same person stripped away the image I had of him. For years, I heard rumors of this vigilante administering street justice. The police and even the FBI were called in several times because of the piling bodies. I knew my father took orders from no one, but I’m putting boundaries in place.
Daddy
For now, but I’m the parent.
Me
I’m grown and know better now.
I don’t care if he’s the Pastor on the streets. This time, I will not be blindsided. If he wanted a relationship with me, it came with a cost.
I sat next to Marquise, squeezing his hand as we sat across from Dr. June. The vanilla smell of her office and warm paint colors relaxed me. Upon entry, Marquise hugged her as if she was a family member. When I suggested it would be better for me to stay home, he objected.
“I lost control on Toni and spewed everything. It was bad. I thought I would feel better afterward, but I didn’t,” Marquise said.
With my hand tangled in his, I remembered what Jhae said.Sometimes showing up is being supportive.
“She said I wanted her to be the villain in my story and it’s been on my mind,” Marquise continued.
“I want to try something, Marquise. Close your eyes and explain to me how the villain appears to you, including appearance, taste, and smell. This will take you back to some painful memories. If things become too much, abandon the memory and lean on your support,” she said.
Dr. June gave me a warm smile as I squeezed his hand to remind him he had me. Marquise closed his eyes.
“Describe the villain,” Dr. June coached.
The room fell silent as we waited for Marquise to describe who hurt him.
