Erin rounded me and wrapped her arms around my waist as I trembled.
“Son!” Pops yelled.
“It’s okay, Khalil, let him explode,” Toni continued.
I chuckled in anger as my eyes watered. For the first time in my life, I wanted to hit a woman.
“Tell me off,” Toni said.
“You want to be mom of the year. Leaching off my mom’s hard work. Can’t fuck your way out of the ghetto... huh? How about I beat yo ass the same way Winston beat Malcolm? He had to sleep on his stomach that night over a piece of fucking bread. You want a black eye for existing? Let me starve you and slap you to the floor because you ask for food. Who did you protect, Toni? You don’t get to enjoy the fruits of my mother’s labor. And Caleb, please don’t knock her up. She didn’t take care of the first two she had,” I said.
Toni pulled away from Caleb, but he secured her arm again.
“I searched for you, Marquise,” Toni said, as tears streamed down her face.
I wasn’t moved by her tears; they couldn’t compare to the ones I’ve shed.
“You didn’t search hard enough!” I belted hard and coarse, making my throat burn.
Erin pushed her face into my chest and squeezed to ground me. My chest panted as it vibrated. Sniffles drew my attention to Mom and Jhae both crying which triggered me to calm down.
“Mom and Jhae, I’m sorry,” I said as guilt hit me.
Khaira’s sudden wailing cut through the room. Jhae passed Mom and walked down the hall to retrieve my sister.
“Mom and Pops, I’m sorry for yelling in your house. But don’t invite me anywhere near this... whatever she is,” I said, dismissing Toni with my hand.
“Son, I want to talk to you,” Pops said, and I sighed, throwing my head back.
Erin dropped her hands, releasing me, and I moved in his direction.
After we stepped outside, he pulled me into a hug. “Calm down and then you can drive home,” he said, and I released tears. “I know you are mad but we gon keep working on this.”
I laid into my father’s shoulder as I was emotionally drained. My baggage continued to leak into my life. It doesn’t seem like therapy was helping.
Erin
Hearing the details of abuse flow from his mouth made me emotional. I wept for him and Toni as she cried in her hands. Malcolm tried to comfort her, but her heart cried for Marquise. Rage flowed through his body and whomever this Winston was caused a wave of pain.
“I tried. I tried!” Toni cried into Malcolm’s chest.
My eyes watered as the pain bounced from her body to mine.
“Momma T, I know. You were a victim, too. Marquise doesn’t understand it. He needs time,” Malcolm said.
In this moment, helplessness fell on me and everyone else in the room. And I hate to admit it to myself, but my father’s words replayed in my head. Sometimesstreet justice is the only justice.
I could no longer watch Toni cry, prompting me to search for Marquise. I stepped outside to see him hugging Mr. Jefferies. I stood, not wanting to interrupt the moment until Marquise noticed me. He tapped his dad and moved in my direction.
“Baby, I. . .”
I paused him with my hand. “Don’t apologize. Can we go home? I want you to myself,” I asked.
Marquise looked back at his father before turning to me. “Yeah, I need to get my mind right,” he said.
“Take care of him, Erin, but call me if needed,” Mr. Jefferies said.
We locked hands and Marquise guided us to the side of the house and I’m thankful. My heart couldn’t handle witnessing Toni cry again. I knew each tear represented something hurtful as her soul cried. The lights from the motion sensors popped on, but we kept moving. The hellcat and Malcolm came into view. He rested against the car waiting for us, and I was unsure what to expect.
