Javier’s mouth twitched into a half-smile. “Sorry,pequeñita. That’s not happening.”
“What’s that?” I asked, frowning as I tried and failed to repeat the word.
“It means they’re all little shorties.” His grin grew wider at the way Jasmine glared at him.
Teddy tried to smother her laugh. “He’s been calling them that,” she said, leaning down to press a kiss on each girl’s head. “You’re on bedtime duty while I help Javier pick up a bit.”
“Night,pequen—whatever you said,” I told Javier.
He grinned.
When six-year-old Juanita lifted her hands, I picked her up with my free arm, careful to keep Victoria tucked safely on my other side. Juanita smiled wide enough that I could see the loose front tooth she wiggled with her tongue. If only she’d let me pull the thing out, but she was far too afraid to let me try. Jasmine went in front of me, leading us up the large staircase.
I hurried toward the room they shared, which was far away from my mother’s room so they wouldn’t be able to hear her if her cries turned to soul-shattering wails. My heart ached over the way she mourned my father, the way the break in her heart seemed endless.
I wasn’t sure what I’d do if not for Grandma Richter, who was actually Donnie and Ryenne’s grandmother, but she’d basically adopted both my mother and me. While my mother barely spoke to me, Grandma Richter was able to reach her and sometimes pull her out of her despair long enough that we could visit with her.
I was a terrible son, leaving Grandma Richter to take care of my mother. But after two nights of staying up with her as she sobbed and screamed, I couldn’t do it anymore. When Grandma Richter offered to start staying with her again, I let her. All the while, hiding Teddy, the kids, and me in the rooms farthest from my mother so I wouldn’t have to hear her. I distanced us even more when our cottage in the woods had been built and we only saw her once or twice a week.
Another guilt I carried.
I missed my mother, sometimes more than I missed my father. And I couldn’t help but feel like she was vanishing, and soon, I’d have to help her make her voyage into the afterlife too.
Just as I opened the door to the girls’ room, a familiar tingle brushed against my mind. Teddy’s mind-speak magic.
“Mo elma?”I asked.
“I know it’s late, but would it be okay if Javi went out with his friends for a bit?”she asked.“I feel bad that he couldn’t before, and he said they usually went to the bakery around now. I mean, we’re going to be up for a while anyway and?—”
I chuckled.“Tell him to go. Just give him a curfew.I trust whatever you decide. You needn’t worry while he’s out despite the late hour. The fae will watch over him.”The same way they had watched over my friends and me in our youth.
“Have I told you how much I love you?”
“If you have, I’ve clearly forgotten,”I teased.“Better tell me again.”
“I love you.”
“Once more, in case I forget.”
Her laughter floated up the stairs and into the girls’ room, enveloping me in its rich sound, and I couldn’t help but smile.
While the otherssettled in their rooms for the night, I stood outside on the castle grounds where my father’s star shone down on me. With Teddy in my arms, her back pressed against my chest, I tilted my head up and closed my eyes.
The night was thick and cool as if our gods wanted to cast us to the shadows, forgetting us as we’d forgotten them. While snow continued to fall without end, it wasn’t cold. Each flake that whispered across my upturned face reminded me of an easier time when I didn’t shoulder the responsibilities of an entire kingdom.
I’d missed the magic that lived in my realm’s air when I’d been exiled to the human realm. Darkness was merely the absence of light, but here at home, it was its own presence, comforting and peaceful.
Yet tonight, I didn’t find either in the night sky.
It wasn’t just that I needed my father’s guidance as king, but that as a son, I simply needed my father. He would’ve conducted our meeting differently, more formally, whereothers could only speak after getting a nod from either him or my uncle.
I’d rarely spoken in those meetings, trying to digest every word said, every gesture made. For so long, I’d wanted to be like my father, and now that I was overdue to step into his mantle, I wasn’t sure what to do.
He hadn’t been the male or king I’d thought him to be. He was flawed, with ugly sins I felt taint my soul every time I stood before Alastor. While he and I had formed a friendship of sorts, I couldn’t shake the guilt I carried.
So many had died because of my father, mother, and uncle. While Leanora’s war hadn’t been entirely unjustified, my family’s greed had stolen even more lives. Yet despite all that, I still hadn’t found the courage to tell my people the truth.
While I knew she wouldn’t hear me, I reached for Nalari, trying to find my Guardian in the sea of darkness that once housed her end of our connection. After months of calling for her without a reply, I shouldn’t have been disappointed when she remained hidden.
