My heart thundered in my chest with each exchanged word. Neither Javier nor Kieren were adults yet, and while I knew the military school took children as young as thirteen, I didn’t like the idea of them going. Not with so much turmoil churning in the air. If there was another attack on the military school and the boys were there . . .
“With the dormitories burned down, everyone is staying in tents.” Although George kept his expression passive, his words came out like a warning. “You’ll have to share close quarters with other fae younglings. That’ll be your true test. While those in charge will accept you into the school, the older youth in training can be brutal.”
When I twisted my fingers through the hem of my shirt, Elias took my hand and held it on his lap. But dammit, I needed to fidget, to pace, to do something so that I wouldn’t blurt out how much I didn’t want either of them to join.
“My friends and I received the worst of it because of who I am and their friendship with me,” Elias said. “We had to prove ourselves to be worthy warriors far more than any of our peers. Being a royal is a disadvantage at the military school. My peers believed I’d grown up with privilege andheld it against me. The purpose of the school is to force you to grow to be the fiercest warrior. There is no room for weakness, and it is why my parents did nothing to stop the attacks on my friends and me. If we wanted to be warriors, other warriors needed to know we were strong and capable. You’ll both have to do the same because of Javier’s relationship with me.”
“It’ll probably be worse than what we experienced.” George tapped his knee while he cast a wary glance at Elias and me. “Many fae believe you two are the cause of all this death.”
Fear gripped me. Elias ran his thumb over the back of my hand.
They weren’t wrong, though. We were the cause of it all. Every decision we made led us to this very point.
“I know you’re worried,” Javier told me. “I’m scared too, but that’s why I want to join. Someone killed my dad.”
Beside me, Elias drew in a sharp breath, making Aidas and Kieren switch their attention to him. He stilled with only his thumb caressing the back of my hand. While Kieren looked away quickly, Aidas watched Elias through narrowed eyes, eventually turning them to George.
“Someone almost killed Teddy. We’ve been targeted so many times now, both back home and here. For once, I want to be able to fight back for my family. If I have to prove myself to the other fae”—he peered down before he brought his attention back to me—“I’ll prove myself. I’ll have Kieren’s back just like I know he’ll have mine.”
“I can’t let you two get all the glory.” While Aidas’s words came out as a tease, his lips were pressed together to form a thin line. “If you two idiots are joining, then so am I.”
It didn’t make me feel better, but this also wasn’t about me. This was about supporting Javier through a decision hehad every right to make. I just wished it didn’t pose such a threat to him or his friends.I wasn’t sure I could take another loss, especially Javier, who I’d taken on as my own. I’d already almost lost Donnie, and although he survived, Grandma Richter hadn’t.
The girls were torn up about losing her, someone who’d showered them with love and attention, and I knew with absolute certainty that his sisters and Victoria would also suffer terribly if they lost him too.
Kieren pushed Aidas’s shoulder playfully.
“We’ll take care of each other, Mama Teddy,”Kieren said in my mind although he cast an uncertain look toward Elias.
I nodded, grateful for each of these boys.
“Every youngling who attends gets some form of hazing,” Everly said. “The leaders know it and look away. It’s a rite of passage, and once you’ve proven yourself worthy, there isn’t a soul alive who can harm you without the might of each warrior coming down on them.”
George grunted in agreement, but Elias stayed uncharacteristically quiet.
I bit the inside of my cheek to keep from protesting. This was Javier’s right to choose what he wanted for his future. I didn’t have to like it, just respect it.
Chapter
Twenty-Six
ELIAS
I couldn’t concentrate.I tried. Guardians help me, I tried.
“Someone killed my dad.”
Those four words were all I heard. Over and over again, they beat against my mind.
“Someone killed my dad.”
Except it wasn’t just someone. It was me. I’d killed his father, and then like some ugly twist of fate, I’d taken his father’s children to raise them. Guardians,I loved them as if they were my own.
It was so sick, so disgusting.
I didn’t even care that Aidas’s empath magic could see the guilt that coiled inside me. Maybe a part of me hoped he’d reveal something to Javier, and then I’d be forced to atone for my sins.
But I wasn’t sure if Javier knowing the truth would hurt him further. He’d come to trust Teddy and me, and while Teddy had been prepared to tell him everything several weeks ago, Javier had asked her not to tell him more.
