Jade’s mouth dropped open. “What?”
“I got clean in ’98—”
“And you didn’t tell me?” All this time she’d been sure Lydia was still using. Still bouncing from man to man, jail cell to jail cell, living life on her own terrible, selfish terms.
“I wanted to. But the last time we spoke, you said you never wanted to see me again.”
That was true. Lydia had called her, begging for money. Jade didn’t have it to give, since she was still bailing Logan out and paying legal bills. The last straw was Lydia not bothering with even the most surface pleasantries. No “Hello. How are you doing? I miss you.” Just a demand for cash, as if she were entitled to it.
“Logan told me that you said the same thing to him.”
She looked at her lap. “I had to.”
“I know. And you did the right thing, for both of us. When I got clean, I was able to see what I’d done to you. I was ashamed, and still am. I thought more about what I wanted than what my own child needed. By some miracle you were able to live a normal life and be successful on your own. You didn’t need or want me.”
“Mom—”
“You had every right not to. The reason I stayed away was I knew you were better off without me. Simple as that. I ended up drinking again, but I got myself in rehab real quick. I didn’t want to lose my spot on the transplant list.” Her eyes started to close. “Sorry, honey. I get tired easily.”
“It’s okay. You can sleep if you need to.”
Lydia nodded off for a couple of minutes, then woke up again. She turned to Jade. “I hope someday you can forgive me. I do love you. I was terrible at showing it, and if the Lord gives me a little more time, I want to...”
Jade wiped her eyes as Lydia dozed again. Her emotions tumbled all over each other as she tried to process everything. For the first time, she actually believed her mother.She loves me.She reached for her hand, something she hadn’t done in years. Decades.
And she wasn’t letting go.
* * *
Two weeks after Kalista had tried to pay Tyler back—he was still refusing to acknowledge her existence—her life had settled into somewhat of a rhythm. She helped Viv and Bo with the morning chores and had been very excited to find out one of Bo’s sows waspregnant and would give birth in a month. She was excited that she would get to see the piglets.
She was also pleased to help Viv with the wedding plans— particularly addressing envelopes in calligraphy once she felt brave enough to learn. She was surprised how much she enjoyed penning the fancy script, and when Viv decided she wanted calligraphy on the thank-you notes too, Kalista eagerly offered to do them all. She was also learning to cook... a little. That wasn’t as much fun as calligraphy, but she could make a good baked potato and some passable spaghetti and meatballs.
Daddy still hadn’t called her, and Kalista still didn’t have access to her phone. She didn’t care as much anymore, now that she was diligent in checking her gas tank and had read almost all of the Jane Austen novels on Viv’s bookcase. She didn’t bother with the TV anymore, or the radio. It was more fun to sit on the front porch and read.
She did wish she would hear from Daddy. Didn’t he miss her, even a little? She kept that to herself, though, and she refused to call him. She shouldn’t have to chase down her own father.
Her paper delivery job was going well too. She could hurl a newspaper with almost flawless accuracy, and she had started taking treats to little Pepé, at Viv’s suggestion. He literally ate them out of her hand. How sweet.
But nothing between her and Tyler had changed. Not on his end anyway. Unfortunately she had suddenly and without warning been obsessing over him—covertly watching him when he was working with the other carriers or talking to Cletus and Paul. She’d even taken to lingering after coming back from her deliveries so she could catch a glimpse of him. Since he was oblivious to her, she didn’t have to worry about getting caught, and she could admire him from afar. The more she was around him, the cuter hewas. Not just cute.Lecute. Cute infinity. And when he took off his glasses to wipe them on the edge of his T-shirt...le sigh.
“Kalista?”
She glanced up from the envelope she’d been addressing and looked at Viv. “Yes?”
“Everything okay?”
“Sure.” It wasn’t. However, everything wasn’t bad either. “Why?”
“You were sighing.”
She was?
“Have you heard from Raymond at all?”
“No.” She applied the fountain pen tip and made a black swirlingO.
“Hmm. Maybe I’ll give him a call.”
