Jade couldn’t move, the tenderness in Sebastian’s eyes holding her in place. In the back of her mind, she was still processing that she had saved a life... and had taken a monumentally stupid risk. To his credit, he didn’t berate her for that, just brought her to his sister’s apartment, insisting that she didn’t stay by herself tonight. At first she balked, but now she was glad she’d agreed. She’d rather be here than alone, despite Mabel’s hospitality.
He cleared his throat. “Evelyn said you could take her room.”
She shook her head, still gripping the water he gave her. “I can’t do that.”
“Good luck telling her no.”
Chuckling, she sat down on the cream-colored love seat. Evelyn’s apartment had a bohemian flair and was decorated in warm earth tones. She took a sip of the water, and it cooled her scratchy throat.“You were extremely lucky, Ms. Smith,”the paramedic had said as she filled out forms on a clipboard.“You could have died.”
The reminder gave her chills. She shivered.
“Are you cold?”
“No,” she said, looking at him again. It wasn’t that long ago that she’d been furious with him. Now, in spite of everything that had just happened, she felt... serene. He always had that effect on her.
“I can get you a blanket.” He started to stand again. “Evelyn probably has a sweatshirt somewhere—”
“I’m okay, Sebastian. Really.”
He nodded, growing silent again, and also looking unsure. He pressed his palms against his thighs. “I’m sorry,” he said. “I shouldn’t have brought up Lydia—”
“It’s okay.” She leaned back on the couch, still holding the water. “I’m sorry I got so upset. Lydia and I are complicated.”
“Family can be that way.”
“She’s not family.” She stared at the glass. “I don’t have one.”
“Jade...”
She couldn’t look at him, couldn’t bear to see the pity she heard in his voice. “It’s okay. I’m used to it.”
He got up and sat beside her. “I wish you would have told me,” he said. “You know, when we were together. I could have...”
“There was nothing you could have done. You couldn’t make Lydia be a real mother or fix Logan’s problems. I couldn’t even do that.”
“You tried.”
She lifted her gaze. “He told you that too?”
“Yeah. He said you wanted to adopt him.”
Unbidden, tears pricked her eyes. “I took the job in Atlanta because it paid better, but I still ran out of money. Logan’s social worker didn’t want me to take him out of Arkansas, and the state lawyer didn’t think I was able to take care of him. I would have been a single mother to a troubled teenager.” She swallowed. “But I would have done it.”
“You didn’t have to go through that alone.”
“I solve my own problems. I always have. I wasn’t going to put that on you.”
“You could have given me the chance. I would have helped you. Given you whatever you needed.”
Her heart soared... and she pulled it back. Nothing had changedbetween them. Her feelings didn’t matter. More importantly, even if a second chance were possible, she didn’t deserve a wonderful man like Sebastian Hudson. She was too set in her ways, too independent.Too broken.
She got up from the couch, needing distance from him. When she was near the kitchen, she turned around, having regained control. To maintain it, she had to do something she abhorred. She had to exploit his kindness, his feelings. She had to manipulate him.
“I do need something from you, Sebastian. I need you to talk to Miles.”
Chapter 16
Well played, Jade.
