He pretended to think on it.
“Aye, I believe you are right. What else, then? My bravery as we sailed through the most dangerous pass in all of Elydor?”
I rolled my eyes. “Your modesty becomes you, captain.”
“One of my many fine traits.”
Sighing, I tried to think of how to begin.
“I should never have left. Not in that way. Not at all, in fact,” he said. When Marek became serious, it took me aback.
“We’ve discussed this—” I began, wanting to move forward, but he stopped me.
“We have, but not in truth. What you did, in the Depths…” Marek now sighed, as if the weight of Elydor were on his shoulders. “You were willing to sacrifice everything for me.”
I hadn’t thought of it that way at the time. I only knew, if we turned back, if Marek returned on his own, he would not have made it out alive. We barely did together.
“I would never have forgiven myself.” My throat tightened. Again, the thought of me standing on the docks in Grimharbor, waiting for a ship that might never return…
“That morning,” he said, his voice so soft I could hardly hear him over the wind. It had picked up: a fact I tried to ignore. “I awoke before dawn and rode out to the stream. When I’m too long away from the water, an unsettledness that is difficult to ignore consumes me. I had no intentions on leaving, but as I stood there…” Marek turned to me. “I’ve been alive many years. Long enough to have known our connection, my feelings for you… I was in love with you then, Issa. The knowledge terrified me. My father was never the same man after my mother died. To love a human? It was not something I had ever considered before, knowing the pain of loss after my mother died. I also knew your place was at Hawthorne, and mine was at sea. If I returned to you that day, I reasoned, our bond would only deepen. Better to keep riding and spare us both, or so I believed. I left because I was scared, and very little scares me, Issa. But falling in love with you terrified me. And if I’m being honest, it still does. We come from two very different worlds.”
I wanted to go to him.
Stand up, fall into his arms, and feel the comfort of his embrace. Instead, I remained where I was, hugging my knees to my chest, considering his words.
I’d forgiven him for leaving. But forgiveness did not erase the barriers between us.
“Others have done it,” I said, as much to myself as Marek.
“Mev,” he said, “is demi-immortal. Nerys and Rowan.” Marek turned his face to the sky, his eyes closed. When he opened them, they were as troubled as before. “I warned her, but it did little good. I think they’ve simply accepted the pain that is inevitable, for Nerys especially.”
“Pain,” I said softly. “That to her, is worth a lifetime with Rowan.”
“Aye,” he agreed. “One I would accept too.”
It took a moment for his words to sink in. By his expression, I hadn’t misinterpreted them. My heart raced, Marek’s meaning becoming clear. Unfortunately, it was not the only barrier between us.
“I tended to both of my parents when they were ill,” I said. “My mother passed along first, and soon after, my father. He asked that I keep Hawthorne and its people safe, Marek. His whole life, my father had fought for humans to be accepted as Elydorian. For Estmere to be recognized as a legitimate kingdom. For Hawthorne Manor to provide more than a fleeting safety from Gyoria but as a true home to all who live there. He died before that dream was realized. We are more fractured than ever.”
The look on his face… it was as if seeing me for the first time.
“It seems the roles are reversed.” He was hurt, and though I didn’t blame him, I needed Marek to understand.
“How can I choose between you and my parents? It is an impossible choice.”
He was quiet as the wind picked up. I stood, looking out to the sea, the memory fresh.
“A storm is brewing,” he said behind me.
Please let it not be the Depths pulling us close.I stood at that railing as the sky darkened, the telltale signs unmistakable. Discussions of us, of our future, would have to wait. There was another storm to weather, a very real one, first.
32
MAREK
“Be careful, the rocks are slippery. Here.” I held out my hand. Issa took it as we made our way to shore. Finally, after a storm that could have found its origins from the Maelstrom Depths, it was so strong, and an extra day at sea courtesy of it, we arrived precisely as predicted. I’d never been so glad to see the distant shores of my home on the horizon.
“When you said we would not be sailing into the main port, you were not jesting.”
