Adam considered Paul’s suggestions. “Do you think her wanting me to move out wasn’t so she could carry out her plans?”
“I don’t know. You’ll have to ask her that, Adam.”
They fell silent, Adam lost in his thoughts. Paul was right, of course: he needed answers that only Caroline could provide. That could wait.
All he wanted to do was go home and curl up with Paul.
“Adam? Hey, sleepyhead, we’re home.”
Adam gave a start. “Whaa?” The car was at a standstill, the engine switched off.
Paul chuckled. “You fell asleep just as we reached Godshill. I think all that emotion and stress wiped you out.”
Adam scrubbed a hand over his face. He hadn’t felt himself dozing off, just a feeling of warmth and comfort. He climbed out of the car, Paul at his side, that gentle touch above his elbow as usual.
“I think you’d better make some coffee when we get in,” he suggested.
“Sure.” Paul unlocked the front door, and they entered the hall. Adam went through into the library and sank onto the couch, listening to Paul bustling around in the kitchen. It wasn’t long before Paul was sitting next to him, the smell of fresh coffeein the air. They sat in silence, Adam trying to collect his thoughts while they drank.
In the space of an hour, everything had changed.
Hadn’t it?
That one brief question was all it took to make Adam think clearly.
He loves me. But how can we make this work?
“Can we talk about yesterday?” It seemed as good a point as any.
“Yeah, maybe it’s time for that.” Paul shifted next to him, and his bare feet were on Adam’s thigh. Adam stroked them, keeping the motion gentle.
“About the flogging,” Adam began. “Were you really okay about me bringing in Seth?”
Paul gave a shaky laugh. “When you first suggested it? Fuck, no. It was only because I… I really trusted you that I said yes.” His voice lowered. “I knew you wouldn’t let any harm come to me.”
The sincerity laced through Paul’s words shook him. Adam lifted Paul’s foot and kissed it softly, not missing his gentle intake of breath. He returned his foot to its resting place on his thigh.
He listened to Paul’s quiet inhalation. “Adam, what we’ve done so far, the clamps, the cock ring, all of it, has been… amazing. I loved it, all of it. I admit I was curious about how it would feel to be flogged, but more than that, I…” He gulped, his breathing erratic.
Adam reached for Paul and pulled him into his lap, his arm around Paul’s shoulder. “Tell me,” he said, his voice soft.
“I wanted to please you, to make you proud of me,” Paul whispered. “I thought it was what you wanted.”
“But when it came down to it, you safeworded. That’s what counts.” Adam stroked his arm. “Okay, seeing as we’re in confession mode… When you seemed to like the idea of being flogged, my mind went into overdrive. All I could think about was you wanting something that I couldn’t give you.” He caressed Paul’s face. “You’re really happy with what we have?”
“Fuck, yes.” Paul kissed him, a fervent collision of lips. “I love you just the way you are. I wouldn’t change one thing about you.”
Adam pushed out a long, shaky sigh. “Thank God for that.”
Paul snuggled up to him, his head on Adam’s shoulder, his hand resting against Adam’s chest. “What a pair we are.”
Adam took a step out of his comfort zone. “This isn’t easy for me. I’ve… I’ve never been in a relationship. I’ve never found it easy to share my feelings. That wasn’t me. Before you, I wouldn’t have known a romantic entanglement if it stepped right up and slapped me in the face.”
Paul chuckled against his chest, before becoming still. “I didn’t know how you’d react if I suddenly said, ‘oh, by the way, I’m falling in love with you.’”
Adam tugged Paul until he straddled Adam’s waist. He cupped Paul’s head and drew him into a kiss, their soft sighs mingling. Adam leaned against the cushion, holding Paul against his body, loving his weight, his warmth.
“I love you.”
