“Okay.” Paul closed his eyes, aware of Adam’s warm body next to his. “Adam…”
“Yes?”
Paul sighed. “Well, at least I know now. I’m definitelynotinto flogging.” His mind drifted, the heat of his back easing until he couldn’t feel it anymore.
“If you want to sleep, that’s fine. I’m betting you didn’t sleep much last night.”
He managed a chuckle. “And you’d win that bet.” Paul expelled a breath. “We’re not done, y’know.”
“What do you mean?”
“Today we crossed one thing off my list, that’s all.”
Adam laughed quietly. “We’ll deal with what’s left on there another day.” He kissed Paul’s nape. “Now sleep.”
A wave of fatigue rolled over him.
Somewhere on that list, it said:
Tell Adam I love him.
Chapter Thirty-Nine
Adam listenedfor the tell-tale creak of the floorboards above his head, but there was nothing. Paul was still asleep in Adam’s bed, and that was fine.
That meant he and Seth could talk.
They sat in the library, drinking coffee that Adam had made, conscious of feeling proud as he’d moved around the kitchen without his cane.
“You’re obviously doing well,” Seth commented.
He snorted. “You wouldn’t have said that if you’d visited me a couple of months ago. Christ, I was a wreck.” He pointed toward the ceiling. “That man has worked miracles.”
“Speaking of Paul…” Seth let out a sigh. “This is serious, isn’t it? How you feel for him? Just watching you together…”
Adam huffed. “As serious as it gets. I’m still amazed it’s taken me until the age of forty-one to fall in love, but bloody hell, I’ve fallen hard.”
“Does he love you?” Seth wanted to know. “Has he said anything?”
“No,” Adam said simply. “The old me would have been thrilled by what just happened. The old me would have taken what he could get.”
“And the all-new, improved Adam? How doeshefeel?” Seth’s voice was gentle. “Why don’t you just talk to him?”
Adam pushed out a low groan. “Because it’s not that easy for me, okay? For fuck’s sake, I’m a grown man. I should be able to have these type of conversations, right?”
Seth chuckled. “How many of these conversations have you ever had, Adam? Be honest.”
“None,” Adam growled. “I don’t talk about my… feelings, my emotions. I can deal with a sub after a scene, sure. I can manipulate him, fuck his head, mess him up… But ask me to tell a guy I’m in love with him and…” He bowed his head. “Fuck, Seth, this is a mess.”
“Easy, now.” Seth patted his arm.
Adam reared up his head. “This kind of shit is easy for you. Want to know why? Because you can just look at Chris and you’ve already got a good idea of what’s going on in his head. You’ve got facial expressions, body language, eye movement… What the fuck doIhave? Seth, I listen to how he breathes, for fuck’s sake. I listen for pauses, hesitancy in his voice, any fucking clues I can find. I am playing in the dark here!”
“Not as much as you might think.”
Adam stilled. “What do you mean?”
“I mean, I watchedbothof you. If you thinkyouremotions are all tangled up, I’d be willing to bet his are in pretty much the same state.” Seth paused. “There’s somethingthere, Adam. And I think if you ever get up enough nerve to ask him how he feels about you, you might be in for a surprise.” The couch dipped. “And now I’m going to get on my bike, head to the ferry terminal, and go home to my boy.”
