“Wow.”Sam’s eyes shone. “That was the last thing I expected to hear.” Beside him, Mark nodded in agreement.
“You’re serious, aren’t you?” Taylor’s voice was soft. “You love him?”
Paul stared at the remains of his lunch. He’d not done Andy’s crab salad justice: every mouthful had been like swallowing a whole orange. “Yeah, I do.” Behind them the café’s customers chatted loudly, children ran around and were admonished by their parents, dogs barked, and underneath it all was the constant sound of the sea. Paul let it wash over him, dialled it out.
“Then why aren’t you doing your happy dance?” Mark demanded. “Is being in love with Adam so bad?”
“If he doesn’t want me, yes.” Paul pushed his plate away. The others fell silent. Paul expelled a sigh. “I’ve been thinking about this a lot. I… I need to…” He swallowed. “What if… I offered to go further? To show Adam I want more with him? To show him how serious I am about… us?”
The silence was tangible.
Paul jerked his head up to regard his friends. “What?”
Taylor spoke first. “That would depend,” he said, enunciating carefully, “on what you mean by going further.”
Paul held his head high. “By that I mean, stepping out of my comfort zone. Maybe doing something that intrigues me, something I’ve thought about—a lot—but that scares the shit out of me at the same time.”
“I’m not liking the scary as shit part so far,” Sam said, biting his lip. “Explain.”
Paul took a couple of breaths in an effort to compose himself before speaking. “I went to a club in London a few months back. It was a bit… different.”
“What kind of club?” Mark asked quietly, leaning forward.
Paul opened his mouth, but Taylor got there first. “Think Fifty Shades and you’re on the right track—except it’d be Fifty Shades of Gay.” He snickered until Paul stared at him. Taylor gave him an apologetic glance. “Sorry. I’ll shut up now.”
Sam snorted. “Yeah, that’ll be the day.” He gazed across the table at Paul. “Go on,” he urged.
Paul told them what he’d seen, and what he knew about Adam. No one commented until he’d finished speaking.
Mark frowned. “You’re not talking about doing something dangerous, are you?”
“God, no! I’ve just been thinking I might agree to try something more.”
“In the hopes that Adam will see you in a different light?” Taylor interjected. His forehead creased into a frown. “Not sure I like this, Paul. It sounds to me as though you’d only be doing this for Adam, not for yourself.”
“It would be for me, too,” Paul stressed. “I’m in the dark here. I want to explore, to try things out.”
“And what if you try something and don’t like it?” Sam asked, frowning.
“Then I don’t do it again.”
“Even if that would mean losing Adam?”
Paul became still. He didn’t know how to answer.
He didn’t want to eventhinkabout that possibility.
“Paul?” Richard appeared from around the corner, smiling. “You have a visitor.”
Paul gaped when Adam stepped into view, wearing his glasses, his cane in his hand. “What are you…?”
Adam grinned. “I went for a walk.”
All of Paul’s misgivings and fear fled his mind, swept away by the magnitude of Adam’s efforts. “That’s great!”
Adam’s face shone. “I got as far as Belgrave Road and the Royal Hotel—at least, that’s what my phone told me—and then I turned around and walked back. I thought I’d walk down here and surprise you.”
Paul was on his feet in an instant. “Bloody hell, you did that, all right.” Without a moment’s hesitation he put his arms around Adam and kissed him on the mouth. “So proud of you,” he said in a low voice. Paul released him and stepped back, his grin probably as wide as Adam’s.
