“Thank you,” he emphasizes.
He assures me that there are clothes and toiletries waiting for us in Tulum, and then we board the plane, in first class, with me sitting by the window. So we’re already off to a great start.
When we get to The Dahlia Resort, Rome leads me to the front desk, where Javier greets us.
Javier has now been promoted at the hotel, but he wanted to be the one to show us our room and the other updates the hotel has made. After Dani’s multiple posts about them, The Dahlia Resort skyrocketed in popularity, becoming the place to stay in Tulum. The hotel was already gorgeous with incredible amenities, but now they’ve been able to take the site to the next level.
Our room has a private garden out back, complete with a hammock and a cold plunge pool.
I look down at my tan dress pants and white blouse and suddenly feel hot and overdressed. I notice a suitcase sitting on top of our bed and make my way over to it. “Should we try out the pool?”
“Yeah, let’s do that.”
I open the suitcase and bust out laughing. “Rome.”
“Yeah?” He knows damn well what he put in this suitcase, yet he stands here saying “yeah” like he’s innocent. I can’t stand his ass.
“There is nothing but skimpy bathing suits and body jewelry in this suitcase.” I sift through the suitcase to confirm and yeah, there is literally nothing but scraps of cloth and string that have been stitched together ever so carefully to make bikinis and all the waist beads, thigh chains, armbands, and headpieces I could ever want in here. The way my ass is set up, it will swallow these bottoms whole. There’s not a single regular panty to be found, no toothpaste, no damn deodorant. Nothing.
“Yeah, what else would you need?” He snickers. He’s genuinely entertained by his antics. I am too, but I’ll be damned if I let him know that.
“So, you ’bout to have me out here ass out with stank ass breath and stank pits? That’s how you do me?”
He comes up behind me, nuzzling his face into my neck. “I love you stank breath, pits, and all, so you’re good.”
“Rome!” I slap him playfully in the chest, and he laughs and breaks our connection.
He walks over to the closet and opens it to reveal another suitcase. He rolls it over and lifts it onto the bed, revealing real clothes and goodies for both of us. “I’m just fucking with you. You know I got you covered, J.”
I grab him and kiss him deeply. “For the record, I would happily walk around half-naked all day. It was the lack of personal hygiene for me.”
“Noted.”
We spend the rest of the night relaxing and christening every inch of the room.
The next day, while waiting for room service to arrive, I check my phone to find a text from Evie.
Evie: You got any crack?
What the hell?
Me: Ummm excuse me????
Evie: Crack. You got any?
Evie: *inserts gif of Dave Chappelle’s Tyrone Biggums character*
Me: Lmao I’m not confused on what you said. I’m confused on why you said it
Evie: *eye roll emoji* Crack = turkey sticks
I roll my eyes with laughter. Evie and I discovered these honey-cured turkey sticks made by Butterball and Evie is obsessed with them. However, instead of buying her own, she always steals from my stash.
Me: Why would I know that crack = turkey sticks??
Evie: Bc I don’t actually do crack. Now do you have any or not?
Me: Of course I do. They’re in the cabinet. You can help yourself unless you wanna wait for me to get back into the country to bring em to you
