“Janelle, I…”
She puts her hand up to stop me short. “I’m just fucking with you. I do hate that question but I know you meant well so it’s fine. You weren’t around a lot when Arnold and I were together, so you didn’t see but we just weren’t right for each other. I mean, he was basically just the homie that I happened to be exclusively fucking. There was never that spark, that something. You know?” Of course I know. Because I think she and I have it. “But him and Amerie? They just fit. So, I couldn’t be happier for them. Really. I just don’t know how I became the spinster in this story. Shit, if anything I’m the God damn Fairy Godmother.” She looks down at her feet but I grasp her chin and force her eyes back to mine. “My parents.”She stops and laughs humorlessly. “Not my parents, my mom. My dad knows me better than that but I think he’s just trying to survive his wife. Anyway, my mom thinks that because I haven’t dated anyone seriously since that I’m obviously not over him and am just putting on a brave face. I guess I’m just wondering when my value became tied to a man in her eyes. Can’t I have the freedom to just…be? To love myself enough to be comfortable in my own company? If you want to get real about it, I’ve been happier being alone and keeping things casual than I ever was with Arnold. I’m sorry, I know that’s your boy but I’m just tired of having all of these emotions placed on me that I don’t feel.”
I can’t lie, hearing her say that she never felt a deep connection with Arnold unleashes something in me. The will to keep it at bay dwindles with every passing moment.
“You have this energy about you that puts people on high alert. When you walk in a room, everyone knows they’re in the presence of greatness and for some, that can be overwhelming.”
“Does it overwhelm you?” she asks, tilting her head farther.
“Not at all. I’m just happy to exist in your orbit.”
A small gasp slips through her lips, almost imperceptible but I catch it. I lock it in as my new favorite sound that I vow to hear from her in every way possible.
I don’t know who moves first, but our lips connect. Her lips are soft and warm, timid but all consuming. I grab her waist and pull her flush against me, eliciting a sweet moan from her. Her hands lift and I think she’s about to grab my shirt and pull me in but she pushes against my chest instead.
“I am so sorry. I shouldn’t have done that.” Her voice comes out in heavy pants. “I…oh fuck. I shouldn’t have done that.”
I grab her hand and stop her rant before she can hurt my pride. “I like how you just took all the credit like I didn’t kiss you too.”
“Okay, but…”
I cut her off. “But nothing. You telling me you regret it? That you don’t want more?”
Her jaw drops but her lidded eyes tell me exactly what I need to know. “I dated your best friend.”
“And yet, he’s marrying your sister.”
Her lips twist into a frown as she squeezes my hand tighter. “So what? I should just be petty?”
“It’s not about being petty. It’s not about them at all. What is it that you want? I get the feeling you don’t do enough of that.”
“Enough of what?”
“Enough of what you want.”
“Bold of you to assume that you have anything to do with what I want.”
“I’m not trying to be bold; I’m just hoping you’re feeling even a tenth of what I am.”
She tilts her head, squinting her eyes. “What is it that you’re feeling, Rome?”
As I contemplate my next words, I keep asking myself, is this worth it? Is doing this with Janelle, even if it’ll only be one night, worth the potential fallout with one of my best friends if he finds out?
There should be some sort of doubt in my head, right? Some feeling that I need to take a step back and rethink things? I consider myself to be a good man so there should be some hesitation here. Shouldn’t there?
There isn’t. The only answer on my mind is yes. She’s worth it all.
“I feel like I need you. I need my lips on yours and my hands on your body. I feel like I need to make you feel good right now or I just might explode.”
I can feel the moment she makes her decision.
Her body relaxes against me and her arms drape over my neck. She searches for something in my eyes and the moment she finds it, she exhales deeply. “Fuck it,” she says as she pulls my face down to hers.
Chapter Three
Janelle
“Ouch,” I cry out as my head hits the back of my door.
