“So why didn’t you? And don’t give me that tired excuse about it being a one-and-done weekend. Save that for all your stupid friends.”
I smile sadly. Pip is the only friend I have. I don’t deserve him, and I sure as shit don’t deserve Maverick either. I’ve done nothing but treat him badly, and now I’m topping it off with being dishonest when he gave me the best opening to tell him about my condition.
I close my eyes and suck in a deep breath. “I didn’t tell him because I wanted to let myself have the moment. My one last chance of having a good time before my whole world changes forever. I wanted to enjoy the experience of finally meeting a cool, interesting, smart guy. Someone who I don’t have to censor myself around in any way.”
“Or even be nice to, frankly.”
I chuckle. “Shut up. Maverick makes me feel things I’ve never felt before. Ever. I was havingfun. I never have fun.”
“I can attest to that. In the three years I’ve known you, your whole life has been about horses and family. And me.”
“Youarefamily.”
“Thanks. But that’s been it. No guy has remotely piqued your interest like Maverick has, and there’s definitely been no one you havefunwith.”
“Then why do I sometimes want to kill him?”
Pip shrugs. “Because you’re psychologically messed up like we all are, and that’s part of the attraction, I’m guessing?”
“Yeah. I think it might be.” I kick some dirt. “Too bad that nothing more can happen.”
“Why not?” he probes.
“You know perfectly well why not.”
“Nope. I’m going to need you to spell it out for me.”
“Pip,” I growl.
“Don’tPipme. If you’re going to deny yourself the best thing to come along in your life since…well, me, I want to hear you say it.”
I swivel to face him. “Because I’m going to be blind.Fully blind. In a matter of months. Maybe even weeks. That’s why.”
There.
That should shut him up.
It’s all fun and games to sit here and fantasize about what could be until reality comes along and slaps you in the face.
“Are you fucking kidding me?” he snaps.
“Excuse me?”
“Did you really just say that?”
I reply with a cautious “Yes,” sensing he’s going somewhere with this. Somewhere I’m probably not going to like.
“That is the stupidest thing I have ever heard you say. And believe me, you’ve said plenty of dumb stuff.” His deep voice trembles with rage.
“Whoa. Why are you so mad?”
“Because you’re basically saying that anyone with a condition or disability doesn’t deserve love.”
“No I’m not,” I fire back. “I’m only talking about myself. Not anyone else.”
“Okay. If that’s the case, then why areyouthe one and only exception? Why are other people with medical conditions worthy of love, but notyou?”
“It’s not the same thing.”
