I sighed. I told him to be himself.
Opening myself to my Infernus, I gave it my want, and it answered. The whispering of ice came first, then the itches, and within seconds, the rose was completely encased. Though mine was more frosty than clear.
“Fast study,” he said, approval ringing in his tone. “We’ll practice more with your glaciation powers in the Shard Field. For now, let’s return to blocking. I’ll send your subconscious an emotion, and it’ll create a hallucination using my Infernus. I want you to try to block it as soon as you see the scene.”
I didn’t even close my eyes before I was slammed with the image of me, Michael, and my mom in that butcher’s basement. But this time, Michael was slamming his dagger into my mom’s stomach. Even knowing it wasn’t real, I screamed. She was unconscious, and each strike had her body jolting, blood spurting.
“Stop!” I shrieked. Heavenly Shit, I couldn’t see this.
“Block, Lucille. Shield me out.”
I couldn’t. I couldn’t stop watching, couldn’t stop screaming as Michael mutilated her. She was dying.
“Lucille!” an icy voice boomed. “Shield! You’ve done it before.”
I closed my eyes, the squelching noise of the knife in her flesh filling my ears.Shield!I screamed at myself. But I couldn’t concentrate. The knife kept suctioning in and out of her skin. “Stop. Stop!” I begged.
The hallucination dissolved, and I doubled over, heaving.
“You have a minute to gather yourself. Then we go again. You’ve pushed me out before. Why can’t you now?” His words were clipped and impatient.
Oddly, his tone helped to steady me, and the memory of those times flashed back. “You made me angry before, not scared.” At least notthatscared.
“Your enemies won’t care how they break you. Fear, anger, sorrow… they’ll use anything to take you down. Again.”
“That wasn’t a min?—”
This time, the scene shifted. I wasn’t strapped to the table anymore. Instead, I was the one holding the dagger, plunging it into my mother’s stomach.
I squeezed my eyes shut, screaming so loud it drowned out the wet suction.
Shield. Shield!
I’d done it before—not just against Lucifer, but recently with my mom. Icoulddo it again. I pulled at my Infernus, and it resisted.
Come on!
I pulled again, forcing it to the surface of my mind with everything I had. Something flashed behind my eyes, and I opened them to see purple flames engulfing the butcher’s basement. Slowly, the scene faded away, and the greenhouse came into view.
“Better. But I told you not to force your Infernus.”
“It wouldn’t come otherwise.”
He pursed his lips, displeasure written all over them. “You doubt yourself, so it doubts your wants. You need to understand—your Infernus is almost a sentient being inside your body.”
“What?”
“The more powerful you are, the more your powers take on a life of their own. It will answer to your confidence and need—but even the slightest bit of doubt, and it won’t. Again.”
We practiced on and off for the rest of the day, breaking only for lunch and dinner, which were brought to the greenhouse. He didn’t let me leave until I blocked him three times in a row. That took until nightfall.
By the time I stumbled into my room, my mind throbbed as much as my muscles. There was no way I’d dream-walk tonight. Every part of me was utterly spent.
Chapter
Twenty-Two
LUCILLE
