“He said he wouldn’t help us, Oli.”
His expression softened, and he pulled me into his arms. “Come on. Let’s go in and you can explain.” He glanced at Rune with a grimace. “Rune, you’re going to have to go back to Ronen tonight. It’s Lucy’s turn for time alone, okay?”
Rune whined, but bowed her head and ambled back the way she came.
Oliver guided me through our door and onto the settee, covering me with a blanket before sitting beside me. “Talk.”
I told him what happened, but left out the specifics about Aspen. I did admit how Ronen made me feel.
“Finding Ronen attractive isn’t a crime. I think it’d be a bigger crime if youdidn’t. Or you’d just be straight-up blind.”
“It’s more than that. I wanted to kiss him.”
Oliver laughed. “So? I probably would too.”
I fiddled with my fingers, staring into the fire. There was so much more I needed to tell him. But I was scared.
“Do you love Aspen?”
Heavenly Hell, how was I supposed to answer that?
I bowed my head. “Oli, I don’t know what love is. I don’t understand these feelings—for Aspen or Ronen.”
Oliver pulled me to him. I leaned against his side, resting my head on his shoulder.
“Luce, don’t put pressure on yourself to figure it all out. We’re rescuing Aspen and my sister regardless. Yeah, it might be harder without Ronen’s help, but we’ll make it work. Don’t let the idea of how Aspen or Ronen will judge you mess with your head.
“Maybe you’re in love with Aspen. Maybe you’re not. Maybe you’ve got feelings for the dark, tattooed god, or maybe you don’t.Stop shaming yourself for feeling anything at all. That’s not what emotions are for. They’re here to inform you, and to help youlive.”
He pressed his cheek to my head, and for a moment, I believed him.
“And… did you ever think maybe you’re holding back on falling in love with Aspen because you’re still trying to figure out whoyouare—and whoheis? He’s been runed and controlled his entire life, and you’ve been caged away without the freedom to fully explore your own likes and dislikes. Not to mention, it’s been danger and secrets between you two from the beginning. Not exactly the best foundation for a relationship,” he said, nudging my side. “Am I right or am I right?”
I gave him a small smile.
He sighed. “Life and love are never easy. But Idoknow they’re easier when you know who you are and what you want. Right now, neither of you is in a place to figure that out. Not until the drama of our lives settles a little.
“As for Ronen… attraction messes with the mind. But so does having someone who protects you and helps you grow. I’ve seen the pride on his face when he watches you train, and he only has that expression foryou.”
“That’s not helping,” I admitted as my stomach fluttered. But he wasn’t wrong, I’d seen it too—and loved it.
“I’m just saying… he doesn’t always have that unimpressed, pissy look on his face. And even when he does, he still looks out for you. Hell, he protected us from your father from the very beginning, and he hasn’t stopped.
“He cares about you, Luce. And he’s showing it in better ways than Aspen ever has. I think youseeit, and I think youknowit—but you’re scared of what it might mean. So your subconscious goes haywire whenever he’s around, and then your guilt attacks you. You don’t let yourselffeelit. And that’s why you wanted to kiss him.”
I lifted my head and pulled back to look at him. I should say it now. He needed to know about Aspen.
“How did a goof like you become so wise?”
But I couldn’t do it.
“Do I need to remind you how old I am?”
“No, but youcanstart using all that wisdom on our rescue plan, now that we don’t have Ronen’s help.”
“We first need to find a wayout.”
I leaned back against his shoulder, feeling like the worst friend and the worst daughter. The only person I seemed to be looking out for was Aspen.
