Ronen had somehow managed to come into a dream with us, most likely because he had power over the mind. But this wasn’t Ronen. The pulsating shadows weren’t wispy and curling. They didn’t give me a sense of peace and solace. No, these were heavy and unsettling, devoid of life—a soul-sucking blackness with a barrier of smothering air.
“You said we need to talk? Did you finally find a way out?” he asked hopefully, stepping in front of me and blocking my view.
I frowned at his dismissal. That wasn’t like him.
“Why—” I stopped short and raised my hand, brushing it along his full beard, then trailing up to the wavy brown locks almost covering his dull eyes. “You look… different.” It hadn’t been that long since I last saw him… had it?
He rubbed the side of his face, smiling with no lips. “Haven’t had time to shave. Did you find a way out?”
That question again? The figure didn’t concern him at all?
“No, we’re still looking,” I replied, peering around him and toward the trunk.
It wasn’t there. Nor did it lurk in the field or behind the ancient arches. But I still picked up on a whiff of that terrible smell.
Aspen framed my face, stopping any head movement. “No progress?”
I opened my mouth, hesitating. My gut wasn’t playfully nudging me anymore—it was screaming.
He dropped his hands and grazed a thumb over my palm, his eyes tightening. “Still floundering, sweetheart?”
That damned word pressed against the cracks in my belief—one breath from breaking. I shut my mouth, analyzing him as he rubbed my scarred palm. Just the one, sending a tingling shockwave of dread to my heart.
“You always think I’m floundering.” I pulled my hand to my chest.
“I have a lot of reasons to believe you are.”
“Because I was betrayed and locked in your cuffs in Elora?”
It wasn’t the question I wanted to ask. It wasn’t the question burning like acid at the back of my throat.
He shrugged, giving me a once-over. “Among other reasons. But yes. That wasn’t that long ago.”
I rubbed my thumb over the palm he had been touching, not sure if I was trying to take away his tingling touch or press it into my skin. My thoughts descended to a dangerous place, twisting my stomach into knots. A stinging pricked my eyes, making me blink rapidly.
I had to stay strong.
“There will be a day when you will no longer be able to think of me as a damsel in distress.” I reached up, cupping his face, a lumprising in my throat from the tingles of our bond. “I’ve been practicing my powers every morning. And today in the Shard Field, I’ll learn even more.” I ran a thumb across the dark bag beneath his eye. “If you saw what I could do now, I bet you wouldn’t call it floundering.”
He held my drilling gaze before lowering his mouth to mine. “I hope you’re right,” he mumbled against my lips, then he gripped the nape of my neck and crushed me in a tingling kiss, pressing his body into me.
I refrained from pulling back, from falling into the words that screamed in the back of my mind.Helpless. Helpless.Instead, I took my hurt and desperation out on our kiss, biting and slamming my mouth against his. He met every angry nip with his own, trying to take control. But I wouldn’t let him. I grabbed his long, greasy hair and yanked him back.
“Have you found Melanie?” I demanded, already knowing the answer.
He shook his head, breathing hard and gripping my waist in a way that’d leave bruises.
I nodded. I didn’t want to be here any longer. I couldn’t. And like my dream-walk heard me, I woke up.
I ran a hand through Rune’s fur, soothing myself as the tears I’d held back slid down my cheeks. This couldn’t be love. It wouldn’t hurt this much—would it? Would it make you go out of your mind, questioning every single moment together?
Because that was what I did. I forwent sleep to tear apart my dream-walks and every moment we’d had together.
The guysand I ran our circuit in the early morning. Snow fell from the dark sky, and our boots filled the quiet with our crushing steps.Oliver made jokes, Alexei gave it back, and Ronen tolerated it. But I couldn’t concentrate on their words when Aspen consumed my thoughts.
At the end of our run, Oliver flung out a leg, and I went flying into a pile of snow right before the arena doors. I landed on my forearms, preventing a total face-plant and tensing at the immediate cold melting down my back.
“Oliver!” I heaved.
