Chapter Fourteen
Eli trudged into the living room to shut off the lights. He and Daddy had put the kids to bed before Willem had retreated to the stables to make sure Bessie had enough hay and water until morning. He’d given his boy strict orders to close down the house for the evening before heading up to their playroom. His dick stirred in his pants, even though he knew he shouldn’t be looking forward to the reckoning he had coming. But of course, his cock didn’t care about punishments or really anything other than his Daddy giving it attention.
He wandered around the room, picking up several toys that the kids had missed before heading to the large handmade woven basket in the corner. Willem had originally used the thick wicker basket for blankets but had emptied it for the kids’ toys. After shutting off the electric candles on the mantle above the fireplace, he headed over to the tree. He reached down and clicked off the power strip the lights were plugged into. As he straightened, he noticed once more the lists perched in between the ornaments and popcorn garland. Raelynn’s and Jeremy’s were on the front, right at what they probably assumed was eye-level to Santa. They definitely positioned the lists so Santa wouldn’t miss them. His own was nestled next to the star he’d created, while Daddy’s was a few branches below it.
As if it’s waiting to catch mine if it falls.
Rather symbolic, he supposed. Since Willem always seemed ready to catch him. He was tempted to pull Willem’s down, and peek inside. Would he get in more trouble? Possibly. He didn’t know the rules when it came to Christmas lists. But what was a little more trouble? It would only be a few more smacks, right?
He tugged Daddy’s list free. Carefully opening it, he scanned the contents.
Dear Santa,
For this Christmas I would like only five things:
My need: My Little boy in my arms.
My read: A book of fairytales to read to our kids.
My clothing: Four new silk bow ties for my boy.
My want: A new scarf since my boy stole mine.
My family: A new scrapbook to put our memories into.
Love, Willem
Tears built in Eli’s eyes. His Daddy was so selfless, so generous with his time, his love, his energy – even his home with those he loved.
Loved.Willem did the things he did because he loved him.
The truth of that deep emotion was written in black and white on a simple Christmas letter. Eli might never be worthy of a man of Willem’s integrity, but damned if he would let his Daddy go. He slowly refolded the letter then placed it back on the tree. He should’ve realized he never would be a burden to a man like Willem. Never be a responsibility and nothing more, because everything Willem did - was done out of love.
“I’ll do better, Santa,” he said the words softly, before shutting off the last light in the living room, and then heading upstairs. His Daddy deserved what he wanted, and he wanted Eli.
So, let’s give Daddy what he wants. No needs.
After entering their room, he stripped off his clothing before tossing all of it into the hamper. Once he was down to his boxer briefs, he made his way into the playroom. He rubbed the back of his neck as he stared at the space. This room had seen countless playtimes, first with Sandy and now with him. It held loving memories of Daddies who loved their Littles and only wanted the best for them. At times like these, when he made mistakes and was waiting for his punishment, he felt small and inadequate, but after reading his Daddy’s list, he accepted his upcoming discipline with a new view. He was loved, he was cared for, and above all else, he was needed. Daddy needed him, just as much as he needed the older man.
So, he sat down on the play rug with his stuffed Petey and waited. Perhaps once this was over, he’d have time to play before Daddy told him it was bedtime. “Let’s hope Daddy understands how hard this is for us. Let’s hope that we can explain it and don’t freeze up.” He ran his fingers through Petey’s fur. “’Cause between you and me, I don’t like Daddy disappointed in us.”
* * *
Willem stood in the entrance to the playroom. His boy was sitting cross-legged in the center of the play rug, holding Petey on his lap. He was stroking his fingers through the blue fur while talking softly to the stuffy. It made his heart melt a bit. Any other time, he’d have been content to watch Eli play. It gave him a thrill to witness the very capable man take a backseat to the Little - who loved nothing more than playing with stuffies, doing puzzles, painting, and building with Lincoln logs.
God, he loved both sides of his boy. They just needed to get back on track. His boy needed to be shown that they could have both a family and their kink. He’d given his father’s words a lot of thought and had decided it was beyond time for an honest ‘come to Jesus’ discussion about how they were going to proceed. They would move forward and be happy. Or he’d die trying.
He eased into the room, softly shutting the door behind him. The monitor on the shelf would alert them if either of the kids got up. On the rug, Eli stilled. His head lifted, as if he sensed his Daddy was present, then he looked over his shoulder at Willem with remorse in his gaze.
“Come here, Elias.” He pointed to the spot in front of him.
His boy scrambled to his feet, and rushed to him, stopping exactly in the spot where Willem had pointed. “Would it help if I said I was sorry, Daddy?”
“Would you mean it?” Willem brushed his hand down Eli’s side. “Or would you be trying to placate me, while still believing the same thing?”
Eli’s chin quivered. “I…it sucks, Will. I don’t know how to do any of this. I feel like I’m drowning. I want to give the kids the best of everything. Which means I have to be an adult. At the moment, it is the only thing that is keeping me afloat. Little Eli wants to cry because his brother is gone. He also wants to throw a huge tantrum because he has to share his daddy with Raelynn and Jeremy. My adult side knows that you have enough love for all of us, but my Little? He’s jealous.”
“Then we need to remind your Little that he has to share.” Willem took his boy by the hand, then led him to the glider. After sitting down, he tugged Eli between his thighs. His boy immediately dropped to his knees and buried his face in Willem’s chest as he wrapped his arms around Willem’s waist.
