“No, I didn’t know!” I looked around as if everyone in the restaurant might be taking notes on my every word. “And I can’t say bonkers anymore?”
Tina looked to Amber. “I don’t know, can she?”
“I’m not sure either. The list of offensive words is so long.”
Running my hands through my hair I felt like I was suffocating. “Excuse me, but I need some fresh air.”
I got up and walked outside the restaurant, where I looked up at the gray December sky. Now, it was a given that Tyton could never be happy here. He would get reported the moment he opened his mouth.
Looking down the street, I saw two men biking while talking. They looked pretty with their red lips and braided hair. I couldn’t hear what they were talking about, but one of them laughed out loud.
These men were nothing like Tyton, and he could never fit in as one of them. Tears streamed down my cheeks and I stood in limbo feeling too changed to fully belong here with the direction my country was taking.
The men noticed me crying and their brakes squeaked when they came to a halt. “Are you hurt? What’s wrong?” the tallest of them asked with concern on his pretty face.
I didn’t try to hide my tears; instead a question burst from me like I was some kind of rambling idiot, “Are you happy living here?”
“What do you mean?” They exchanged confused glances.
“Do you ever wonder if you’d be happier living in the Northlands?”
“What is she talking about?” the shorter man asked his friend as his hands went to check on his hair and make-up.
“I don’t know.” The taller of the two got off his bike to place an arm around me. “Do you have a friend we can call for you? You seem a little stressed out, dear.”
“My friends are inside.” I sniffled and used my sleeve to dry my eyes.
“Okay, do you want us to take you to them?”
I shook my head but he insisted and walked me to the entrance of the café. Before the door closed behind me, I heard his shorter friend call out to him:
“What did she mean about our wanting to live in the Northlands? Do you think she was hinting that we looked uncombed and savage?”
“I hope not.”
Their quiet chatter faded as I went back to my friends.
As soon as Tina saw me, she got up from the table to hug me. “Sweetie, I can’t believe you didn’t know about the proper communication law. Are you afraid for your book? Is that why you ran out?”
“Yeah,” I lied because telling them that I loved a man who swore all the time wouldn’t do.
“Oh, I’m sure readers will love your book. Romance might be a tiny genre, but that gives you the chance to do well in it. I’ll read it if that helps.”
“Thank you, Tina. It might be the only copy that gets downloaded.”
Sitting back down, I sipped from my now cold tea while trying to hide the heavy sadness that made it hard to breathe. Tina and Amber were some of my best friends, but still I didn’t feel like I could tell them about Tyton, or even Wilma for that matter.
While growing up, I’d asked my nana many times why we lived in such a rural area and she had repeated over and over that being alone and feeling lonely are two different things. She had insisted that it was possible to feel lonely while surrounded by people, but I’d never understood the significance of that until this moment. I couldn’t trust my friends with my secrets, and it made me feel like there was a physical barrier between us.
Tyton had been a bright spot of healing light in a pitch-dark time in my life. To hear Ebony talk about Nmen as demons and for my two best friends to worry about petty stuff like saying the wrong words made me feel lost among my own people.
For twenty-eight years I’d thought of us Motlanders as open-minded, educated, and kind-hearted. Now I wasn’t so sure. I longed to talk to Tyton or read more of his fearless chapters that always made my heart beat faster. He wasn’t afraid of offending others and he liked to provoke. I used to see those as faults in him but the more I reflected on it, the more I realized that they were some of the most refreshing and liberating qualities about him.
Tina touched my arm. “I’m going to get some cake. Do you want anything?”
I shook my head with a polite smile, but in my head a loud voice boomed.Yes, I want Tyton.
CHAPTER 29
